The Forbidden Questions
by BlackTippedRose
Summary: What is Mme. Giry's first name? What's with the Candle Men? How many phangirls does it take to screw up Erik's life? The answers to these and more, inside, just click! T for language, flames allowed, reviews rock, plus it's cameo. Completed!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- **I own your SOUL! No...wait, that's not it. Okay. So I don't. I don't own Erik, Christine, Madame Giry, or Raoul. Give me ten years and three trillion dollars- and I'll be on my way to owning MEG!

This is basically a set of drabbles that explain the questions that have been on everyone's mind. This is created from watching the movie at 3:00 with my friend Veng. The first is a double.

**Who is Meg's father and why did Mme. Giry stand by and let Christine get taken through the mirror the first time?**

(If it does mention Madame Giry's husband in the book, I am sorry. I am merely going with book impressions and the 2004 remake movie)

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Little Lotte let her mind wander," Raoul smiled, walking into Christine's bedroom and placing the flowers on the table, nearly tripping.

---- And now actually were the story is supposed to be! ------

"Christine did so well. I'm so proud to have her as a best friend," Meg said to herself quietly, looking into the mirror in the ballet girls' changing room. She turned sideways, adjusting the pure white ribbon tied back in her shining golden hair. A ribbon in her hair. Meg's trademark. She always tried putting one into whatever opera she played in.

_I am your Angel of Music._

_Come to me, Angel of Music._

Meg's eyes went wide with horror as the dark voice echoed from her mirror. She let out a loud shriek, backing up rapidly and almost falling down.

Madame Giry came in as Erik continued singing in his gruesome tone. She seemed quite furious, and began banging her ivory cane against the wall, a vain in her neck pulsing.  
"ERIK! I will not allow you to guinea pig your songs on my daughter!" she screamed as Meg began to calm down.

There seemed to be a slight whimper from behind the wall. "Please taller Giry, stop that. You'll break my one way mirror, and I need this!"

It took about four seconds for the term 'one-way mirror' to register in their minds.

"YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING MY BALLET GIRLS CHANGE?" The older Giry screeched, changing her attack range and now slamming the cane into the mirror itself. It began to crack violently.

As if in a stupid way of defense, Erik yelled "But your daughter is so hot! Especially when she's changing!"

Yeah. Not the smartest thing to say. While Mme. Giry seemed to be going through a state of shock, a wooden pistol with three human skulls went crashing through the glass and hit the Opera Ghost point blank.

Now her mother seemed impressed. "Was that from the 1831 production of Robert le Diable?"

Meg nodded proudly, brushing her hands off. "Yeah, I've been saving that."

"For whom?"

"It was actually for Buquet, but he deserved it more."

"Hmm. True."

A moan was admitted from the knocked-down phantom, who slowly sat back up. "Why do I feel like I just got hit by a cheap opera prop?"

He received two answers.

"Because you invaded my daughter's privacy!" and "I got about 200 pairs of opera and ballet shoes in her, Monsieur Ghosty, so you'd better shut up."

Needless to say, Erik took Meg's threat more seriously.

"I cannot believe you watched my ballet girls change," Madame Giry grunted, crossing her arms. Erik just smirked, standing now.

"Not my fault she got my amazingly sexy looks."

Meg did a double- no, triple- take, her dainty features showing nothing but horror. "W-what?"

Erik gave off his best smirk, (which caused many phangirls around the world to swoon and faint), and stated in a very bad Darth Vader's accent, "Meg, I am your father!"

Meg's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "I KNEW IT!" she screamed, turning around and running out of the room and crying for her best friend.

The moment Meg's voice had faded out, Erik burst out laughing while Madame Giry looked really pissed.

"I cannot believe you said she was hot, _then _lied that you were her father!" she growled.

Erik continued laughing. "Doesn't matter! She believed me, so I win the bet! You're not allowed to interfere with my next diabolical Christine ploy!" The Phantom of the Opera then swooshed his cape and went strutting down the hall, now laughing maniacally.

Mme. Giry sighed. "God protect that little girl…"

--------

As Raoul left Christine's room, Madame Giry leaned on the stairwell doorway, scowling at Erik. He slowly turned the key and pulled it out, successfully locking the girl in her room.

_Stupid perverted genius. Stupid perverted genius,_ she thought, watching him glance over at her. Then he stuck out his tongue in a very un-Phantom-y way.

As he left, she sighed and turned around, facing the stairs. _Better go explain this to Meg. I can't believe he won that bet… _


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: ** 2,999,999,999,987 dollars and ten years away from owning Meg. I'M GETTING THERE!

AngelicRose8- My first reviewer. Ever! THANK YOU!

Warning: This story contains an army of phangirls, me, my friend, and a Teen Living teacher. Be afraid.

And now for this chapter's question!

**Is it more then just Erik's songs that seduce Christine?**

0o0o0o0o0o0o

The Phantom studied his candles with unblinking concentration. Going from one to another, he made sure each flame was a pale orange.

"Taller Giry!" cried Erik suddenly, turning to the elder woman that was standing in front of the Christine manikin, staring at it with distaste.

"For the thousandth Erik," Mme. Giry grumbled, not turning away from the disturbing doll, "It is _Madame_ Giry."

The man did not respond to her, but suddenly forgot what question he was going to ask. Instead, he improvised. Why? Because if you bug Mme. Giry without a reason, you may get beaten with a certain ivory cane.

"Why are you staring at my Christine duplicate?"

Madame Giry finally turned away, balancing on her cane in a way that could be menacing…if she was not balancing on a cane. "I am wondering how you have Mademoiselle Daae's exact clothing size."

Erik thought back to his precious one-way mirrors, which he had in both the girls' ballet changing room, and Christine's.

"Lucky guess," he lied with a casual shrug. Then he remembered the question. "Taller Giry! Wade into the water and check if my underwater candles have a pale orange flame!"

"_Madame_ Giry, and I will not wade into the wa- wait, how can you have underwater candles?" the ballet instructor asked suspiciously.

Erik gave off his trademark 'If-you-ask-that-again,-I'll-punjab-you' smile. "I am the Phantom. Therefore you do not question what I can and cannot do."

Mme. Giry just glared. "You know I highly disapprove of you drugging your candle smoke merely for the selfish purpose of raping little girls."

That seemed to set off alarms in Erik's brain. "I DO NOT RAPE LITTLE GIRLS!" he screamed, advancing on her threateningly. Mme. Giry was not fazed.

"Monsieur Destler, I ask that you do not attempt to threaten me. I am just as skilled with that lasso as you are," she reminded, brushing past him.

After a moment's spasm attack (which led to six broken hand-held mirrors, a shortened version of Stranger Then You Dreamt It, and three shredded Raoul pictures), the Phantom calmed.

"Here, I shall test my drugged candles. Call in the phangirls, for they shall be my victims!" More evil laughter.

Mme. Giry rolled her eyes. "I cannot believe I am allowing you to harm innocent girls for your sick humor."

"Shush Taller Giry. You cannot comment, and then after I win our little bet, you will not be able to stop me. Now, how many phangirls do we have in our possession?"

Mme. Giry had a light flashback to her 'counting' the phangirls for Erik…

_Madame Giry sighed, checking her clipboard again. "Now, which of you is…Mrs. Destler?" She tried to not gag._

_Instantly, 5,998 hypnotic crystal-clear Mary-Sue eyes stared at her. 5,998 hands rose._

"_GIVE US OUR ERIK!" they chanted. Mme. Giry cracked the whip she held._

"_YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU LITTLE PERFECTION BRATS! I CAN BE A VERY SCARY NATZI IF YOU BUG ME!"_

_Her reply was more chanting, but she almost heard two people clapping…_

Mme. Giry twitched visibly. "6,000."

"And how many, might I ask, are Mary-Sues?"

"…5,998."

Erik did not look pleased that he was facing down that many 'perfect characters.' "Oh well," he muttered, pulling on a close-by lever. Instantly, the portcullis went up and 6,000 girls trailed in.

They disturbed Mme. Giry and Erik. They were all teenagers and older, perfect figures, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect eyes which reflected a perfectly happy or perfectly horrible life.

"Erik. Erik. Give us our Erik!" they chanted in monotone, walking (perfectly) towards the pair.

The Opera Ghost was just about to turn his candles on the girls when he noticed something. There were two girls, apparently the two that weren't the Mary-Sue's, and they were trying to run _away._

The ages seemed…odd. One was small, scrawny, and looked about 9. The other was freakishly tall, slim, and seemed 15.

The smaller one was yelling. "NO! NO! I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THESE GIRLS! I WRITE THIS STORY!"

The older one was simply trying to push through the mob.

Erik blinked, exchanging glances with Mme. Giry. "The authoress?" he mouthed, and the older woman just shrugged with an 'I-guess-so' look.

Before Erik could speak, the smaller one's screams had gone up in an octave. "NO! DON'T MAKE ME! I'M NOT A REAL PHANGIRL!"

Instant silence followed. The 5,998 girls froze in their places in the water, turned, and formed a tight circle around the two non-Sues.

"You are not followers of Erik?" they all asked in their perfect voices.

The little girl blinked, and shook her head. Suddenly all the Sues glared at her, all raising a yellow vegetable in (perfect) sequence.

"Children of the Corn!" they hissed, advancing manically on the two girls with their corn.

"PHANGIRLS!" Erik boomed to them. 5,999 heads turned to stare at the man. One Sue was looking longingly at her corn, wondering if she could go off the cheese-cube diet just this once and actually eat.

"Do not harm the…erm…normal humans with your corn!"

Now being denied the use of healthy food, the Mary-Sues dropped their corn and turned on the two girls again. The circle began moving in a (perfect) formation, one scrunching down then popping back up while the girl next to her did the opposite.

"Ding-frazzle-dum, ding-frazzle-dum!" they sang, receiving shrieks of utmost horror.

"ERIK! USE CODE CSS!" Madame Giry cried over the disturbing song.

"I CAN'T! IT'S COPY-RIGHT TO SUPERGIRRL!"

"THEN USE THE CANDLES, YOU MORON!"

Erik wielded the candles mercilessly; striking the intoxicating fumes towards any girl he could hear singing. They would smell it, then immediately collapse.

"What's in these things?" he wondered to himself.

"It's called ecstasy."

Erik turned to see a creepy old Teen Living teacher standing _on_ the water, grinning evilly. She held a knife in one hand.

"Don't get AIDS," she hissed before sinking below the water and back into the pits of hell.

Erik blinked, and then went back to his insane candle-fighting. Soon only one remained, and she continued to circle the doomed pair.

"Phangirl!" he cried, and she turned. Thinking quickly, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"I AM A SEXY BEAST!"

The phangirl immediately swooned, and fainted. He smiled, putting the candle down.

The older one bowed slightly. "Thank you, Monsieur E-"She was cut off as an ivory cane boomeranged through the air, knocking both girls out, and then came back to Mme. Giry.

The woman dragged the two out of the water by hooking the smaller one's collar on her cane and slinging that over her shoulder, and simply dragging the taller one.

"You have 20 minutes to trick my daughter Meg and win the bet, Erik," she reminded, walking towards her secret passageway. "Try not to fail horribly."

Erik watched her walk off, and then stared at the 5,998 phangirls floating in the water. Then he shrugged. "Ah well! If I'm lucky, they'll drown," he smiled, swooshing his cape and going back to his organ.

Now…how to trick Meg…

--------------------

A/N: -stares at Supergirrl fans who are trying to shoot me- I'M SORRY! I gave her credit, please do not kill me. If I get in trouble, I'll just edit the story and take that part out.

Hope you enjoyed it. Please review. Maybe I'll have another chapter up by Friday!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **-shoves Meg in bag- Ahem. Sorry I didn't make my Friday deadline. It made me sad too. I had to go to some godforsaken college that my sister's in and I SWEAR I was allergic to it. But you can thank my beta tester/reader/co-owner of FQ Vengie for making me write this chapter! By, of course, threatening me with a sword. Also hitting me a couple thousand times which **hurt**.

**Celixir **– Thank you for finding this so funny!

**Insanity** – Not…my cheese cubes!

Now, this one I know was on everyone's mind.

**What is Madame Giry's first name?**

Warning: This contains light Erik and Raoul bashing. And the mention of an old horror movie.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

_Don't. Think. About. Her. Don't think about those creepy glares she's giving you, just concentrate on the ballet girls in front of you, _Erik thought silently, staying in the shadows of the rafters. Every once in a while, Madame Giry would look up from her instructing and glare at him. Most likely because he won the bet was he getting the glares.

As soon as the class ended, Erik tried to escape down the rafters and slink off to one of his mirrors. About half-way down the hallway, an ivory cane knocked him on the side of his head.

"Monsieur Erik!"

Crap. That didn't work.

"Yes…Taller Giry?" he asked in an agitated tone, turning slightly. He watched the corner of her eye twitch. That's right, he's not supposed to use that name.

"Since you won my bet, I've got one for you."

The phantom sighed. "Haven't you been humiliated enough?"

"My name. If you can guess my correct name, you'll win."

Erik blinked. That seemed easy enough. He _had_ to know her name. "What do I get if I win?"

Madame Giry thought for a moment, flicking her braid over her shoulder. Then she pulled something out of her pocket and straightened it out. After a moment, she held it in front of his face.

"A picture of Mademoiselle Christine."

Something sparked behind Erik's seductive eyes. _OHMYGAWDCHRSTINE!_

Before he could drool undignified-ly, a loud galloping echoed down the hallway. Soon, a while stallion came into view, with a brown-haired man on top.

"Did someone say Christine?" he smiled, sliding down from the horse as it turned around and trotted off.

Erik pressed down the urge to punjab him. Maybe later on. "You look like a fop, you know that?"

Raoul let off another one of his pretty-boy smiles. "Yes, but I'm a fop that's going to marry the woman you love."

Before Erik could heartlessly murder the poor fop, Mme. Giry cleared her throat. "Monsieur De' Chagny, would you like to be part of our little bet?"

Raoul broke away from his staring competition. Erik smirked and quietly and mentally recorded the winning of the competition as something he could use against Raoul.

"What bet, Madame?"

"A simple one; guessing my name."

"I have heard the prize is a picture of my Christine. Since I will be wed to the real thing soon, what will I win?"

Mme. Giry blinked, and then pulled something out of yet another one of her pockets. "An apple strudel, sir."

((For those who do not know, an apple strudel is like a muffin with apples inside and the top covered in brown sugar.))

Then I'd be honored, Madame."

Erik let out a loud groan. "My GOD you're all so freaking' prim and proper! SAY SOMETHING THAT ISN'T POLITE, DANGIT!"

Raoul smiled in the creepy vampire-ish way. "Your cape-swoosh is retarded."

Mme. Giry placed a cane between the males, as if she was warning two children to break up a silly brawl. Except she was preventing a big brawl.

"Come you two, the bet awaits!"

-----------

Mme. Giry was in her room, and smiling. She typed something in a futuristic keyboard ("Has that been invented yet?"), opened the door of a safe, and placed inside the breakfast food and the photograph.

"Good luck!" she smiled, shooting Erik a glare before going back and sitting on the bed next to Meg, who had come to watch.

"Move, fop," Erik growled, shoving past the other man and up to the keyboard. Then he began to think. _Now…what was her name again?_

He automatically typed 'Maria.'

"Incorrect. 9 guesses left."

His jaw dropped and be backed up, trying not to let out a terrified shriek. "IT TALKED!"

"Yes. You have ten chances to guess my name. Then you'll be in for a big surprise," Madame Giry smiled, looking incredibly disturbing. Like a certain Teen Living teacher…

"Monsieur Phantom, step aside. I know the Madame's name," said Raoul, coming up and typing the word 'Antoinette'.

"Incorrect. 8 guesses left."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? In every POTO book I've read, you're Antoinette! See!" Raoul growled, taking out a Phantom of Manhattan book and chucking it at Mme. Giry's head. She immediately smacked it down with a staff.

"Too bad. I believe that name is way too floofy for me. And besides, that isn't written Leroux," she said while Erik just watched stupidly.

Poor little demented psychopath. He hadn't been smart enough to read his own story.

Raoul typed another female name. Hélène.

"Incorrect. 7 guesses left."

Erik was snapped back to attention as the voice echoed again. "No you stupid fop, you're wasting our chances!"

'Aimée'

"Incorrect. 6 guesses left."

'Gabrielle'

"Incorrect. 5 guesses left."

Mme. Giry and Meg were in a silent giggle fit. They watched as the two panicked males tried guessing the woman's name. Erik was sheet white, and Raoul was almost crying.

"This isn't working! And she has a sick sense of humor so we'll be killed if we fail!" Erik whined, clawing at the metal door.

'Élise'

"Incorrect. 4 guesses left."

"Maybe she named her daughter after herself!" cried Raoul, losing his cool. Erik franticly typed 'Meg'.

"Incorrect. 3 guesses left."

"Try Maria _Giry._"

Furious typing, then-

"Incorrect. 2 guesses left."

"Her last name…it was Jules, right?"

Erik nodded, his horror expressed on the one side of his face that showed. "Then type that!" Raoul commanded. Due to the phobia of whatever Mme. Giry had in store for them, he actually took orders.

"Yes sir!"

'Mademoiselle Jules'

"Incorrect. 1 guess left."

Raoul went off to a small corner of the room and curled up in fetal position, rocking back and forth. "We're doomed," he whispered. "Do-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-med!"

Erik took a deep breath. One chance left. 'Taller Giry'.

The safe beeped. His heart rose.

_Clank. Fwwiisshh, whir, clunk._

"NOT THAT NAME!" the safe thundered in Mme. Giry's voice. "You get the first surprise, Erik."

A small compartment opened up. The Phantom lost the little color that remained. He shut his eyes, waiting to get shot…

…by a piece of paper? Erik opened his eyes again, a note plastered to his face. "Whuffufrek?" he wondered, the noise muffled by the paper. He peeled it off and glared at it.

"'Never look under the bed,'" he read, seriously confused. Then he flipped it to the other side. "'The Poltergeist'?"

A large door opened up in the safe, and suddenly a very scary stuffed joker shot out, latching itself to his face.

Erik fell backwards, screaming shrilly. "CLOWN! OHMYGODCLOWN! GET IT OFF ITS EATING MY FACE! OR ACTUALLY IT'S EATING THE CUTE SIDE OF MY FACE GETITOFFBEFOREITRUINSMYFACEOTHERWISECHRISTINEWILLNEVERLOVEMEEEEEE!"

"You're turn, Raoul," Meg smiled, completely ignoring the shrieking phantom. Her mother almost fell off the bed she was laughing so hard.

The poor man nodded slowly, standing up and walking like a zombie to the safe and past the still-screaming Erik. Another compartment opened up, a metal shelf poking out. On top of it was some sort of fluffy…toy?

"Hiii-iii-iii!" it cooed, causing Raoul to scream like a girl (in the same tone of Erik).

"FURBIE!" he yelled, turning around and running like a lunatic out of the room.

Meg, seeing how her mother was unable to open the safe, stood up and walked over. She smiled to herself.

'Madame Giry.'

"Correct. Congratulations!"

The door swung open, and Meg retrieved the muffin. "This is certainly out of my ballerina diet. I'll feed it to the opera mice!" she giggled, turning around and skipping past the **still-**screaming Erik and her laughing mother.

"IT'S STILL A CLOWN! IT'S GOING TO DRAG ME INTO THE TV AND MAKE ME MEET THE TV PEOPLE!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o

A/N: In all fairness, that stupid clown and furbies would make me scream too. And they have a lot of pockets, don't they? 0.o;;

And everyone knows that in POM that was her name…but seriously, I do not like it. Maria is so better.

Review or I'll cry and never write this again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I got sued for stuffing Meg in a bag…so I had to let her go. No fun. I, V, and me thought this chapter up after a while. 'I' would be Insane, my good buddy and co-creator of this wonderful fanfic. Her, Vengie, and I are proud to present the next chapter…after I thank my reviewers!

**Vengeance **– God woman, it's about time you fed me! Locking me in a closet with nothing but cheese cubes every other hour cannot KEEP ME ALIVE!

**Celixir** – You've reviewed twice now! Huzzah! A true fan!

**Charlotte** – Thanks for requesting another chapter to come!

(Insanity and Vengie don't count 'cuz they helped create the story and they're actually in it.)

Say it all you want. I already know. Mme. Giry and Meg are in my stories more then Christine…oh my gawd I've never put Christine in here! Oh, and you gotta read Carlotta's stuff in her accent.

Alright. The story you are about to read may be so stupid it causes you to die or laugh so hard you cry. It's very cracky, and includes our two favorite phangirls with their bestest buddy! Just review.

This one took a while to notice.

**Why do Erik, Meg, and Raoul wear the same outfit?**

**(White low-cut lacy shirt and tight black pants)**

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"What do you mean you ran out of cloth?" Madame Giry stormed, glaring at the costume designer. The odd Paris man bowed deeply.

"I am sorry, but Mademoiselle Christine and Signora Carlotta's dresses took up too much cloth," he apologized, jerking his head briefly towards the two woman in dresses. There were two girls scurrying around them, making adjustments to the dresses.

"I hate this dress! It-a classes with my eyes!" Carlotta thundered to the familiar 15-year-old who was sewing on way too many sequins to the back of her bodice for the Hannibal dress.

"You _requested_ this dress," hissed the teen through clenched teeth, 'accidentally' jabbing her with the needle.

"AHHHHHH!" she screamed, whirling around and knocking about 17 fashion designers down with her dress train. Only Veng, the 15-year-old, wasn't nearly killed.

"No! You said those things would stop happening! Well, until you stop that, this thing does not happen!" Carlotta turned around and stormed away, still yelling. "Bring my doggy and my boxy!"

"For the love of God WHAT IS YOUR BOXY!" Veng yelled, stomping after her.

Madame Giry blinked. _Wasn't that the girl that I knocked out with my cane?_

"Give it five minutes," Antonio, the man talking to Mme. Giry. "She'll be back because her doggy's in the other room."

Christine was talking with the small girl who was adding black lace to her 'Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again' dress.

"Are you one of the ballet girls, little child?" she asked quietly. Rose, the small girl, shook her head.

"Nah. You have a really weird choice of clothing, ma'am. Very black and low-cut," Rose mumbled, getting distracted by the blackness and pricking her finger.

"Didn't I tell you to hire **three** girls to help?" Mme. Giry growled, ignoring the child and older girl.

"We…erm…did. Our other girl's…well….with your daughter Meg."

"Where are they?"

He pointed back behind Madame Giry, towards the two girls. One was Meg, in her Point of No Return dress and the other was a 13-year-old who looked absolutely psychotic.

"How is it that you can wear this incredibly slutty is dress and _still _look amazingly pure and innocent?" she asked idly, helping the blonde female tie yet another ribbon back in her hair.

"It's an amazing talent that all female Giry's have when they are young," she replied proudly.

"So…what shall we do?" the older Giry asked, now done staring at her daughter's dress in a motherly disapproving way.

"We have enough cloth to make one pair of pants and three shirts."

"Gross, does that mean I'll have to wear the same clothing as Erik?" Meg cried, seeming disgusted.

"Mademoiselle, both yours and Christine's dresses are made from Monsieur Destler's cape."

As soon as she said those words, the door burst open and there stood four thousand girls. They weren't Mary-Sues. Just normal rabid phangirls.

"The dresses are made from Erik's clothing?" the one in front asked. Antonio nodded slowly.

"GET IT!" they screamed, running over and tackling down the two women. Rose let out a shrill scream as she was completely flattened by the phangirls.

"Squirt! You stupid child, you're not allowed to get killed otherwise this story will never finish!" Insane yelled, dodging backwards to not get dog-piled.

"DARNIT, HOW DID THEY GET OUT!"

Insane, Madame Giry, and Antonio turned to see a furious 15-year-old in the doorway.

"YOU STUPID PHANGIRLS, LISTEN TO ME!" she yelled, flushed and foaming at the mouth. They turned around and stared at her, and she began breathing again.

"I…have your Ghosty," she said with a smirk, holding up a tied-up, upside-down man with a white mask.

"PHANTOM!" they squealed, crawling off the two opera performers and crushed child to run the other teenager.

"Ya want him? Do ya want him?" she said, like talking to them like they were dogs. When they all lolled their tongues and nodded frantically, the second-youngest spoke up.

"I cannot believe you girls like him!" Insane called, causing everyone to stare at her. Even Erik.

"Dude. Phantom. You aren't sexy. At all," she said, rolling her eyes and flicking back her long dark chocolate hair.

This actually caused everyone in the room to shut down. No one **ever** calls Erik un-sexy. But before the phangirls could kill her, she continued.

"You have severe issues from a so-called "gypsy" incident; you've been obsessed with a _very_ young chorus girl who you've been stalking since she was a child even though you are like….Mrs. Giry's age; and dude," Insane paused to walk over to her best friend and take the mask for his face.

Instantly, the phangirls gasped and fainted. Along with the fashion designers. Now the only conscious ones were Madame Giry, Meg, Christine, the un-fazed Veng and Insane, and a slowly-inflating Rose.

"Nice sunburn, dude," Insane smirked. "It goes great when you're trying to rip-off the Howl outfit."

Erik could only gape upside-down at the young teen. "T-the what outfit?"

"The. Howl. Outfit. Come on Mr. Masky Dude, you cannot tell me you never saw Howl's Moving Castle. That was like, the hottest anime movie in the world!"

Veng groaned. "Hey In, we're not only in Paris or something, but we're like….200 years before America gets anime. And you are confusing Monsieur Destler, so shut it!"

"No anime? Dude, no wonder all this place has is lame operas!"

Madame Giry blinked, narrowed her eyes, and walked over. "Drink this," she commanded, handing the 13-year-old a whiskey container.

"Say _what_? Lady, I'm like, underage," she said, adjusting the sunglasses on her forehead.

"Yeah, well, uh, _dude_, drink it." She forced it into her hands. Insane shrugged and drank some while Meg nearly had a heart-attack because of her mother's grammar.

"Excuse me," Erik grumbled. Veng looked down.

"Let me go or I will not only punjab you, but I will tear out your spleen and eat it **raw.**"

She obliged, letting him go back and backing away. She was going to walk over to Insane, but there was a small problem.

You see, Insane gave it to Meg, who drank some then gave it to Christine, who drank some and gave it to Carlotta who came back just to drink it, and _she _finished it off.

So now we have four drunk females, arm-in-arm, trying to do a very tipsy can-can while singing the Llama song so horribly that it could make Drunke-oke proud.

"I wassss once a ttwwwweeeeee-house, I lived in cake, but I never ssssaw-ed the way the ORRAANNGEEEYYY ssssslayed the raake!"

Veng instantly covered Rose's eyes, muttering something about 'protecting a young persons sanity'.

Erik tapped Veng's shoulder. She turned slowly.

"You're the teenager Madame Giry knocked out with her cane, correct?"

She nodded timidly, and he gave off the milk-curdling smirk. The ones he uses before he punjabs someone.

"Well, I'd hate to break tradition!" The Phantom snatched Madame Giry's cane away, waited for her to fall flat on her face, then took a stance like a baseball player and sung out, hitting the back of her neck and knocking her out.

Rose stared in horror, ignoring the three (Carlotta passed out) drunk girls now into their fourth encore, but Erik simply dropped the cane next to Madame Giry.

The woman stood up, towering over the small child. "Little girl…" she growled in a threatening tone.

"…You aren't going to knock me out because I wrote this, are you?" squeaked the little girl.

"Oh no!" she reassured, allowing Rose to let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm going to knock you out because you always leave us with unconscious phangirls to deal with."

And with that, the ivory cane came crashing down and Rose's world went black in a shower of pretty little sparkles…

"IT AAAAALLLLL FLOATSSSS IN THE EEENNNDD!"

-----------

A/N: Holy fish…that kinda makes sense, right? I mean, THEY ALL WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT! Which does actually looks like the outfit Howl wears in Howl's Moving Castle.

Tehe, making my best friend go drunk is fun! –giggle- Oh, and I am not writing another chapter until I reach **_15 _**reviews. So review, even if all you say is that I'm on crack for asking you guys to review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I CLAIM TO DISCLAIM THE CHARACTERS IN POTO! Except Rose, but that's only because she's like…me. Insane and Veng belong to my friends. Thank you guys for reviewing, it makes me sooo happy!

**Lady Pendragon**- Pendragon…where have I heard that? Ah well. And no, I am not actually on crack. I am on a permanent sugar high. WHOOO!

**Evanesce – **Phan-girl cameo? SWEET! If it was not for the fact I am way too lazy to think up all the stuff you required, I would TOTALLY do that!

**The Magic Pickle Fairy **– My GOD I love your s/n! It's awesome. And thank you for the nice things you say to me.

**Celixir **– Told you it looked like his! But none look as hawt as Howl….-dreamy fangirl sigh-

**Phantom of the Basket – **Woah…sweet name. And I'm working, I'm working! -whimper- DON'T KILL ME!

Okay. I watched POTO a while ago with my buddies after watching the Steven King movie IT, and we always cracked up at the same part. Now I am making a question out of it.

**When Christine goes into the mirror…where in the world does that fog come from?**

(This story is set after chapter 1)

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

"You lost the bet," Erik reminded in a harsh whisper, peering down a hole in the ceiling to Christine's room. He had locked her in, and now he was waiting for her to finish getting prepared for her little date with the stupid patron.

Madame Giry glared at her, very uncomfortable with two things. One; Erik had 'kidnapped' (demanded she go or else he apparently kills the three phangirls he's taken hostage) to the shadowy rafters with nothing keeping her from falling expect the reassurance that she'll receive a dramatic last-second catch from the mentally crazy Phantom if she slips, and Two;

…Did she mention the dramatic save-thing? That was basically her 'two'. She did not want to be saved by Erik. He annoyed her slightly in his stubborn ways. And also that he had been able to trick her daughter a few minutes before didn't help.

"I refuse completely to use your dangerous new invention, just so you can add a…stupid effect to your seduction attempt."

Erik smirked, stepping so he was about a foot away from the woman. "I'm sorry to say you have choice in the matter, my dear."

_THUNK!_

"I am not your little Christine, Monsieur! You will speak to me with respect, and if you ever call me 'my dear' again, I will hound you like a dog!" Mme Giry snapped, slamming her cane back into the ground.

The dignity/physically wounded man withered on the floor. He made sure to stay out of sight as Christine poked her out from behind her…whatever that thing is she dresses behind to glance curiously up to her ceiling. She had obviously heard the clunk and the shouting.

"Angel?" she asked softly, and Erik jerked up so fast that I couldn't see it well and will have to put it in slow-motion.

Erik perks up, hearing his precious pupil call for him, then throws his legs up into the air slowly, managing to pick up enough speed that he actually is able to flip backwards. This movement looks like something out of the Matrix now that we had to put it into slow-motion. As he is flipping backwards, his cape gets caught in his legs, curling around it. When Erik lands on his feet on the rafters, his tangled legs gave way, and he fell off.

But due to the fact our Authoress doesn't feel like writing the complication that if Ghosty fell into Christine's room, he didn't. Instead he amazingly fell into a room that came from nowhere.

And he fell on a soft plush white carpet. "…Where am I?" he murmured, raising his half-masked face to see the face of someone he never wanted to see again.

"I LOCKED YOU IN A CLOSET!" Erik stormed, jumping to his feet to point at a thirteen-year-old girl, laying on a bed and reading a book while apparently listening to a radio.

Insane blew a large pink bubble, letting it pop obnoxiously before replying. "Ya did, dude. But my buddies and I got out. Rose n' Veng are probably watching another performance while it's practicing," she grew quiet for a moment, blowing a smaller bubble. "Is there a reason why you're in my room?"

"I fell in here," he growled instantly, brushing himself off.

She pointed at the door, which he had his back to. "Out, you pathetic, love-struck freak."

"I AM NO-" Erik was cut off as the door flew open, and there stood the Progressive man holding The Little Black Box.

"Do you know what's in this box?"

The female blinked. "Uh, dude, you just, like, crushed a really famous phantom guy."

"Of course you don't. Do you know if you're paying too much for car insurance?"

"Uh..what? I don't even have a car yet!"

"I do. Because Progressive Direct tells you the rates other companies will charge, so you're not in the dark."

She started getting annoyed, and she was also pretty sure that Erik was dead. Not that she actually cared, but still. "CAN YOU EVEN HEAR ME?"

The man looked down and opened the box. "Sweet. It's a porcelain mask."

Now, in the time span of ten seconds, Erik destroyed the door and punjabbed the insurance man. Then, he took his mask back ("Uh, dude, how did it even get off your face and into that man's little box?), glared at Insane, and walked out of the room.

After a while he made it back to the rafters, and was surprised to see Madame Giry still there.

"I didn't know how to get down," she growled, banging her cane into her fist. He twitched, mentally reminding to never use her.

"Look, just use my new invention when I tell you to!" The Phantom pointed to a large metal machine. "I call it the Mysterious Grounded-Cloud Emitting Invention!"

Mme. Giry looked at him. Then she looked at the piece of scrap metal. "Why not call it the 'Fog Machine?'"

He blinked. "That works too! Now, just press this button when I tell you to, and then we're even."

She continued to glare at him. "Should I even ask how you invented this, and why you have a Progressive phone number imprinted on your mask?"

Erik shot her the flower-wilting glare, then with a swoosh of his cape, vanished into one of his secret passages. Madame Giry began tapping the machinery with her cane, wondering how in the world it worked.

----------

(Now for BTR bonus theatre!)

"…Because-a someone did not-a finish my drless!" Carlotta thundered, seething visibly.

Veng and Rose were sitting up in the upper floor, peeking out from behind the wooden bars.

Rose smirked and poked the older female. "I told you that you should have finished that dress."

Instead of killing her, she simply handed her a yellow raincoat and a paper boat. "Here. When it rains, play in the streets. And when your boat gets sucked into the drain, accept the balloon from the clown that offers one."

And Rose was never seen again.

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

A/N: No really. Where does that fog come from, and why does Christine look so drunk when she's walking towards it? It's so funny!

Poor insurance dude…

Come on people, you know you want to review. 20 is the magic number! –IT grin-

Forgive any typos I might make.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Fear number 11. And give me Meg. Okay, I am really sorry my computer shut down before. Thank you for being patient! Please forgive whatever typos I make; my new writing program doesn't have spellcheck. I have an important message at the bottom. I am so so so so so so s-

-Is knocked out by so-called BTR 'fans' and dragged off to free viewers from having to listen to the apology-

Insane: Dude…should we, like, help her?

Veng: Nah. Let's just thank the reviewers and get post the story she wrote while she was supposed to be doing her Language Arts homework.

**Klookl** – Uh, how exactly would you pronounce that? Well, I'm sure Rose would jump up and down and thank you for the idea. But since I am not that sugar-high writer, or my clearly mental friend, I'll just shrug and go 'yeah, thanks, whuteva.'

**Lady Pendragon** – Hey, you like, reviewed last time too! Thanks dude! And I like, knew it was a book. I think I've like, read it. Even if Rose hasn't. Thanks for calling it interesting and like, random. They usually are.

**The Magical Pickle Fairy** - …Yeah, I guess your name's cool. I really don't care. Yeah, she decided to put Erik inventing that stupid machine. And yes, Howl is a lot hotter.

Now, thanks to Klookl, here is your idea put into a story!

**When Raoul looks around and leaves right after Erik enters the masquerade, where does he go?**

(Contains Slight Raoul Bashing)

**0o0o0o0o0**

Raoul stared at Erik as the music turned to the phantom's theme. He'd never seen the man in person, but he could summarize him in one word. Or, actually, two, to be precise.

_Holy crap._

He looked very scary. And he had a sword. A very long, very sharp, very skull-handle-freaky sword.

To make matters worst, Erik began singing. Alright, that was pretty crazy. He could defiantly pull off the 'mentally-crazy ghost rip-off' thing.

Raoul did the first thing he thought of. He slowly released his grip on Christine, and turned around. Fleeing.

Okay, he wasn't actually fleeing. The real excuse he'd use later when he was being interviewed for 'bravely fighting off the Opera Ghost' was that he was going for his sword. Which…he tecnically was, _except _one detail.

He didn't actually _have _a sword.

Brillant, he knew. But suddenly, he remembered hearing a rumor among the ballet brats.

Madame Giry's ivory cane became a sword.

Smiling to himself, he continued down the hallways. He was passed by a few Masquerade flee-ers; some males escorting terrified women in silver dresses and looking like a cupcake or a cloud. Then, oddly, he noticed a group of three females- one a child- going _towards _the Masquerade, but he paid them no mind. 

He was on a mission.

Now, Madame Giry hadn't taken her cane today. Instead she chose a lacy black fan (which he still suspected could amputate an arm), so that means she must have put it back into her room.

Now…which was that again?

Raoul stopped a crying ballet girl, who had obviously run from the event, and asked where the woman's room was. She sniffled, and then directed him in a heavily accented voice down the hall, the door on the right.

So our _brave_ hero walked down the hall, and found the door. He timidly opened it, and winced when it creaked. Yeah, he was afraid of Madame Giry. But seeing how his last experience with her and a certain plush two with government cameras in its eyes tramatized him, why shouldn't he be?

When no evil dolls, clowns, stuffed animals, fuzzy singing bunnies, or birds immediately tore him to shreds/disembowled him, Raoul snuck in. The first thing he noticed was the oddest.

She didn't have a mirror.

Or, well, actually, she didn't have a mirror connected to a wall. She had one leaning up against a wall, and he noticed the wall behind it looked like bullet-proof steel.

…_I'm not actually going to ask about that. Now, where is that cane?_

He found it rather quickly. It was leaning up against her bed, with a note attatched.

_E:_

_If you touch this I will personally take your head off._

_Love,  
MG_

He blinked, afraid of taking the cane. But then the memory of leaving poor, defenceless Christine to fend for herself from the scary mask man. So he grabbed it quickly and held his breath.

Nothing burned his hand off. Nothing amputated the hand. And nothing attacked him. He inspected the cane for a moment, then knocked it against the ground. It quickly shrivled inside-out, and became what looked like a blade he'd seen Erik weild once. Except it had the initals _MG _etched into the handle.

"Victory!" he squealed, jumping up and down. Without knowing, he stepped on a wire on the floor.

_B-b-b-b-beeeeep!_

"Oh god," he mumbled, looking around quickly. Suddenly, about 1000 gun barrels poked through secret slots in the way. A beam shot out.

"Name?" it asked in a metallic voice.

Raoul was snapped out of his how-in-the-world-does-she-get-this-machinery phase, and shook his head madly. "R-Raoul."

The beam scanned him. "Not Erik," it rumbled. The guns dissapeared, and he let out a sigh of relief.

"Target Raoul, detected."

A large flamethrower thrusted out of the wall, staring him right in the face. He could hear it slowly charging up.

The patron let out a scream that had once resembled a girl's shriek, turned around, and went running out of the room. He didn't know where he was going, and didn't even notice when the Masquerade people were staring at him. He didn't even notice falling into a rather warm pit. But all he could remember was seeing some mask, but even though that's not what he cared about.

He yelled 'flame!' over and over again, but in such hysterics that no one could understand him. And when the rope came down, he didn't see it.

But he did see Madame Giry. She took one look at the sword, and then dragged him off.

And that's when Raoul almost started crying.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**A/N: **Lame ending, I know. And forgive the Raoul mean-ness. He isn't actually that bad of a dude…but he needs to cut his hair.

And my important message is this. I need people to send in a character's- their character's information. Just a quick one. Age, name,hair, and which of the following they like better;

**Christine, Raoul, Meg, Erik, or Carlotta.**

And what you think their Masquerade outfit is.

Send it to me in a review, pm, or an e-mail with the subject 'My Character'. I will accept the first **_10 _** people who give me their information, and I am accepting an unlimited number of outfit guesses. Please don't all give me Erik guesses; I need variety!

THANK YOU!


	7. PLEASE READ IMPORTANT NOTE!

**A/N: **PLEASE READ THIS! I guess I did not make it clear…and I left out a couple things.

FOR ME TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER I NEED **_YOU_** OUT THERE TO SEND ME

Character information: Your hair, name, age, outfit, and favorite out of Raoul, Christine, Meg, Erik, or Carlotta.

**ALSO**

**Send me a GUESS ON WHAT THE HECK THOSE FIVE PEOPLE ARE WEARING FOR MASQUERADE. This means what you think they're dressed up as (a fluffy bunny, a red coat, ect.) and I will PUT YOU IN MY STORY!**

**And to _you two _(you know who you are) Send anything and I KILL YOU!**

**Please and thankies from everyone's favorite physcotic/ADD authoress. **

**PLEASE SEND IN THE STUFF THROUGH EMAIL OR REVIEW! I AM NOT SMART ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT PM-ing!**

**-Rose**


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **I can't thank my reviewers, because, well, most of them were Supergirrl. SPEAKING OF WHICH –pauses to plaster sign on chest- I AM SUPERGIRRL'S BIGGEST EFFING FAN!

Alright, this chapter took a while. I had to collect people and guesses. I am naming this chapter, along with the question.

(Set before Chapter 6)

The Chapter In Which All Hell Broke Loose

**What are Christine's, Raoul's, Carlotta's, Erik's, Madame Giry's, and Meg's masquerade costume?**

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"WHITE CLOTH!"

"Check!" came the droning reply. Madame Giry smiled, and ticked something off a clipboard, not showing her obvious fear. _I should have never hired those girls…_

"BLACK CLOTH!"

"Check!"

"BLUE!"

"Check!"

"Pink!"  
"Check!"  
"White!"  
"Check!"

"Yellow and purple poka-dots!"  
"WHAT?"

Mme. Giry allowed herself a small smirk. At least this time they had enough clothing.

Anyway…

Erik was going to kill her. But she _needed _help with the Masquerade costumes, and they promised to work hard…

…and it was only _five _phangirls.

She had made sure to _not _invite those three girls that seemed to pop up when no one wanted them.

The ballet instructor consulted her watch, noticing her precious seconds tick away. 3….2….1….

Right on time, the door was thrown open, and in came 5 people. Three females, two males. All five looked either ticked, annoyed, or slightly scared.

"Mama, what are we doing here?" Meg asked quietly, risking terrified glances at Erik. This male was glaring at Raoul, who was looking calmly at Christine, who was watching Carlotta growl darkly and give evil looks to all four of them.

"We're…simply designing your Masquerade costumes…" the woman said after a while.

"Then why do I presume we all got the same letters, which included a desperate plea of 'please do not kill me when I tell you the news!'?" Erik grunted, crossing his arms.

Madame Giry shot him a horrible glare. "I only put that on _your _letter," she hissed under her breath, smacking her cane against the ground. Raoul, who heard rumors it would become a sword if she did it again, whimpered quietly for a moment.

"So what-a is the-a news-a?" Carlotta snapped, ruffling her inhumanly red pompom hair.

"I hired help to aid me in the costume making."

"So how is that bad?" Christine perked up. Raoul had to immediately smack Erik so he didn't jump at her mere voice.

"…They're phangirls."

And then the room exploded.

"YOU HIRED WHAT! HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT HIRING THOSE KINDS OF –insert swear word of your choice here-!"

Mme. Giry would not stand for this. She strode over, and slapped Erik across the face.

"Shut it, Ghosty!" she growled, losing her elegant composure for a moment. Then she breathed again.

"I didn't hire those three girls. Just normal teens, and only five of them."

Meg, who had been surprisingly quiet, spoke up again. "When will they arrive?"

Just then, all the lights in the room went out, similar to Erik's candle trick. Fog began seeping through the closed doors, and they creaked open.

Christine took on her 'deer in headlights' appearance.

Suddenly, a new-aged song began playing, screaming the phrase 'FEEL GOOD' every couple of seconds, along with 'shake it, shake it'.

Antonio, who I've been neglecting to type about, suddenly fainted.

The diva-looking females strode in, walking in perfect time with the Gorillaz song. Madame Giry felt faint, thinking she hired more Mary-Sues.

But then the lights went back on, and the fog vanished.

Two things became visible at once. First of all, they weren't perfect. But they were all teens, ranging from ages 13-17.

Second of all, there were _seven _of them, not five. And let's just say the extra two were 13 and 15.

"CUT THE SONG!" Veng screamed, then smiled as it ended. She stepped up to the front of the group, hands on her hips.

"Heya freak-os. In n' I are very insulted we weren't invited to his event. But we decided to help anyway. Let me introduce you to the group!"

She cut off, turning around and smiling at five rather nervous looking girls. Then she pulled out a crumpled slip of paper, and began reading.

"Lady Pendragon, please step up!"

Soon a 16-year-old girl made her way to the front of the crowd. Her shoulder-length brown hair brushed her black top, and her hands were shoved into the pockets of jean shorts.

She glanced across the others, her gaze stopping on Erik for a moment. He cringed as she smiled at him, and then at Meg.

_God I hate phangirls._

"Alex, get your butt up here!"

This one was 17, having her also brown hair up in a bun, and wearing a simple blue dress. She looked at Carlotta for a brief second, then actually grinned.

"Erm, Gisele? Up here, now!"

The teen was also 15, like Veng, and wore a scarlet dress with a greenish-gray blanket that was tied sloppily around her neck as a cape. And hot pink wings? The second she stepped up beside Alex, she hooked a rabidly-loving look on Erik.

_Oh shoot. Wait, are those wings?_

"Kloolk, now or never!"

This girl was one of the youngest, at the age of fourteen. Her curly brown hair fell over her blue eyes. She fiddled with the hem of her white blouse, shifting from one blue-jean clad leg to the other. She smiled bashfully at, of course, Erik.

_Note to self: Destroy Madame Giry._

"And last, but defiantly not least, Evanesce!" (No, not the band, despite name similarities.)

The last girl made Madame Giry breathe again. She thought she'd hired the brown-haired phangirl squad or something. I mean really!

But her hair was golden-reddish, with only a few brown tints. She probably dressed one of the most sensibly, with a black shirt and jeans, although she had very elegant diamond jewelry wrapped around her neck, wrist, and I even think one on her ankle.

"SUP YA'LL!" she yelled, in a pretty good southern imitation. "I GOT DIBS ON MAKING ERIK'S COSTUME!"

For those keeping count, that was strike _two._

All hell has no broken loose yet, but it is getting there.

Basically, everyone but Alex, In, and Veng tackled down Evanesce, with Gisele screaming bloody murder and flapping her wings like some crazed vulture.

"So…" Alex said after a while, turning around and looking over at the shocked group of POTO cast. "…Which will I design?"

Before anyone could speak, Carlotta strode up. "I-a get-a the calm-a one-a!"

Alex shrugged. "Kay. Now, I was thinking something like…"

Meg was actually brave enough to stride over to the group. "Um, excuse me, but could you please stop fighting? You're going to hurt yourselves…" She idly twirled the end of her white ribbon.

Lady Pendragon perked up. "I'll take her! I already have the perfect costume in mind!" She leapt off the dogpile and dashed off towards the white cloth.

This left the violent battle between Evanesce, Gisele, and Kloolk. Absolutely none of them wanted to give up helping clothe Erik, and seeing how all that was left was Christine and….Raoul, they weren't giving up.

But, sadly, the fight scene has gotten too violent for my rated T story. So instead you can watch the nice video of a sloth!

See the sloth in it's natural habitat, walking down the tree at a total speed of -6 mph. He will eventually reach his food supp- WOAH THOSE GIRLS ARE GETTING VICIOUS! Erm, I mean, watch as he slowly…slowly…slowly reaches for the banana. Do sloth's eat bananas? I really don't know. I'm half dea- oh look the fight's over!

Gisele, Evanesce, and Kloolk were all unconscious. They had apparently fought each other to near extinction.

Christine walked over quietly. "Shall I flip a coin to see who gets Erik?"

All three instantly sprang back to life. "YES!"

"Evanesce is heads, Gisele is tails, and Kloolk is-" she cut off. There was no three.

"Would you like to flip my cube?" Kloolk suggested, pulling a dice out of her pocket.

"I'm one and two, Gisele is three and four, and Evanesce is five and six."

Christine pondered this, then gave off her I'm-a-stupid-idiot smile and accepted it.

Then she threw it into the air.

Three teenagers held their breath as the dice dramatically flipped in the air, going in slow motion with whoosh sound effects.

And then it fell, the number exposed: 2

Kloolk let out a shriek of joy and skipped off towards an afraid-looking ghost impersonator.

Evanesce and Gisele both pouted and crossed their arms.

"No fair!" both yelled at Christine, who frowned.

"I'll flip a coin to see who gets to design Raoul's outfit."

Both girls looked horrified, and screamed, "I don't want the fop!"

Christine scowled. Way to insult her fiancé.

"Fine. You can call it for me." She shot a look towards Gisele. "Call it."

"Heads," replied the 15-year-old instantly.

Christine flipped the coin, and it landed in her open palm, and she flipped it onto the back of her other hand.

"Heads," she read out, and Gisele grinned and stuck her tongue out at Evanesce. "Ha! You got the fop!"

Evanesce scowled and looked over at the fop. Then she grumbled something under her breath and walked over to the cloth, starting to chat cheerfully with the other phangirls.

"So…" Madame Giry started, glaring at the only two girls left. "Why are you here? Are you going to help with the costumes? If you are…please don't."

Veng and Insane rolled their eyes. Insane spoke up. "No, I'm not helping. I have pre-recorded Dancing With The Stars to watch!" she giggled, skipping off to a giant big-screen TV. She flicked the TV on and settled in front of it.

Veng sighed, scratching her head. "Uh, yeah. I'm actually the one who's making your costume."

Madame Giry raised an eyebrow. "You're what?"

"Uh…I was thinking black?"

"THIS WILL BE A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP!"

"Keep it down!" Insane yelled. "I can't hear the music!"

Alex stopped in the middle of attaching a feather to a hat.

Lady Pendragon froze halfway between adding fluff to a white bodice.

Gisele dropped Christine's engagement ring, which she was stringing onto a necklace.

Kloolk ceased adding dents to a freaky mask.

Evanesce threw down the blue cloth and put her hands up into the air.

Insane grinned. "Thankies!" she squealed, turning around and watching as a very familiar song played on the screen.

"Is your glowing talking box thing singing the Phantom's Theme?" Erik asked suspiciously.

Everyone in the room nodded slowly.

"Who is that singing it?" Christine asked, trying not to sound jealous.

"Uh…I know it's the original Christine, but, uh, what was her name again?" She turned to look at Veng.

"Sarah Brightman?" her friend suggested with a shrug. "I don't know. There's so many different Christine's, because of all the Broadway skits. But I think it's Sarah."

"It's defiantly Sarah Brightman," Madame Giry said confidentially, causing everyone to stare.

"…Get back to your costumes!"

Four painstaking hours and ten pounds of clothing later, there were 6 costumes laid out of the ground. They were finished, and five phangirls and Veng were exhausted.

But there was a small problem. They didn't know what the costumes were.

Except Erik's. They took one look at Kloolk's design, and dubbed it 'Red Death.'

Now they were staring Meg's fluffy white costume.

"Angel," Alex suggested. Kloolk nodded, but the others shook their heads.

"No way. Look at the headpiece, it's so obviously a rabbit!" said Gisele, picking up the two white ears.

Lady Pendragon studied her own creation, and then nodded. "Yeah…I guess it's a rabbit."

Evanesce stared at it. "My God, could you get anymore low-cut?"

They ignored her, and went to Christine's outfit. Gisele's pinkness made them flinch.

"Pansy," muttered Lady Pendragon under her breath. Gisele glared at her, a wing twitching.

"She's a pink rose."

"Pansy."

"Pink rose!"

"Pansy!"

"PINK ROSE!"

"PANSY!"

The yelling between Gisele and Lady Pendragon continued with Alex, Kloolk, and Evanesce staring back and forth as one of them yelled.

Slowly, the three snuck towards the next outfit. Raoul's.

Kloolk shot a look at Evanesce. "Girl, what _is _this?"

Evanesce scratched her head quietly. "Uh, a soldier?"

"I thought it was a xylophone."

Everyone turned to stare at Alex. She smiled stupidly.

"A soldier wearing a xylophone?" Kloolk wondered.

"I'll go with that," grinned Evanesce.

Two costumes left. The three girls walked over to Carlotta's outfit, ignoring the heated argument.

"**PANSY!"**

"**PINK ROSE!"**

"My costume's a gypsy," Alex said proudly, nodding.

Evanesce blinked. "Gypsy?"

"Erik has issues with gypsies, and he was issues with Carlotta. Therefore the costume is perfect."

No one argued with that.

Then they found the last costume. Madame Giry's.

"Hey V!" yelled over Evanesce. "What is it?"

"Geisha?" replied the tired teen.

Kloolk nodded, but Alex shook her head.

"It's obviously a black rose, or maybe a dead flower."

"Black Plague."

Everyone stared at Evanesce now.

"What? Erik's the Red Death. Why can't his oldest friend be the Black Plague?"

Everyone was silent for a moment (except Gisele and Lady Pendragon), and they realized it actually made sense.

"Erm..okay," mumbled Kloolk. "We have…a white bunny, a pink rose/pansy," she paused to glare at the fighting phangirls, and Evanesce took over.

"A soldier wearing a xylophone, a gypsy…" she trailed off, allowing Alex to finish it up.

"And the Black Plague!"

"THAT'S IT!" Gisele screamed, getting their attention. "Army of Mary-Sue phangirls….ATTACK!"

And then, my friends, all hell broke loose.

The doors erupted open, and there stood Supergirrl's phangirl army. In there very front was their leader, Aurora Vivian Marie Susan Bella Jewel Estelle Starshine Rainbowpetal Flowerbud.

They had potato sacks, with nametags scribbled on them. All the sacks were held above their heads, and most of them seemed to be squirming/screaming/trying desperately to be free.

Alex read the name of the closet bag. A sword was poking through this one. "Orlando Bloom?"

Evanesce read the next two, which actually seemed to be bags screaming at each other.

"Fang and Ari? And what's the 'Maximum' scrawled under their name's mean?"

Her answer was a claw jetting from Ari's bag. She shut up.

Kloolk peered at a bag that also had a sword poking out. "Blue Spirit? Who's that from?"

Lady Pendragon, who had stopped arguing, walked over. "It says Avatar under his name, so I think that's what show he's from."

Gisele, surprised at the fact her phangirls became fangirls and had captured more males scared her a little. She read the next bag, which was absolutely still.

"Who's Artemis Fowl?" she whispered to Alex, who shrugged. Veng burst out laughing, and Insane nearly choked.

"They thought he was cute?" Veng laughed, falling backwards.

"Why isn't he moving? Did they kill him?" Kloolk asked Insane, who snickered and shook her head.

"Nah. He's, like, Irish. And smart. He doesn't do the whole, like, screaming thing."

Alex looked at the last bag. It was vibrating, because it was shaking so fast.

"Who's that?"

"Wrath," answered Insane and Veng in unison.

"Who?"

"Small anime ADD boy. Pay him no mind, he has a lot of fangirls."

Aurora Vivian Marie Susan Bella Jewel Estelle Starshine Rainbowpetal Flowerbud held up a very small, ratty, chain-covered sack.

"We have your friend. Let us add Erik to our collection, or we kill her."

Five phangirls, six POTO cast members, and two teens slapped their foreheads.

"It's Rose, isn't it?" Gisele asked, glancing over at Veng, who nodded.

"Shoot."

"Let's fight 'em," Carlotta suggested. Everyone brightened.

"FOR NARNIA!" they screamed, advancing on the fangirls.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

**A/N: **Well that was an odd chapter, now wasn't it? But I had so much fun writing it! And I had to watch the movie again to figure out some of the costumes.

Incase you didn't know, Alex is Magic Pickle Fairy, and Gisele is Supergirrl. I would like to thank those two, along with Lady Pendragon, Kloolk, and Evanesce for allowing me to use them!

Please review, telling me what you thought. Maybe **40 **will be the magic number this time…


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Phantom of the Opera owns me. Not the other way around.

Unless Webber dies in a certain accident leaving POTO to me…Leroux is already dead.

I had lots of fun writing my last chapter, and I may bring some of those phangirls back because they were just so much fun.

Now, to thank my adoring reviewers!

**Kloolk: **-blushes and smiles- Splee, I feel very loved. Sadly, I cannot have you dating Erik. But I'll see what I can do about you glomping him.

**Supergirrl: **Tehe, thanks for the compliment. And I got the wings from that thing on your profile about a girl named Gisele. I was just like 'Ooohhh, wings! –ADD distraction-

Oh, and you can have Ari and Blew Spirit back. And even Arty as an added bonus! I certainly don't want him! But Orlando, Fang, and Wrath are mine. –grin-

**Femmeloki: **Yes, Rose is the authoress. I'm supposed to be Rose, but I'm not actually nine. Clowns freak me out, and I love the fact you reviewed all the chapters. You can all thank her for getting past 40 reviews, yes I actually think Carlotta was a gypsy, and I didn't have Johnny Depp because my mom is keeping him locked up. o.0;;

Now, I can't exactly thank you in person for the idea, but this story goes out to an ExclamationPoint! Sorry if it's a little…shorter then usual.

**What is the purpose of those creepy people in the masquerade scene who are all decked out in gold and are just standing there holding candles?**

**0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0**

Some people wondered why they did it. I mean, if they were caught, they would so easily be killed.

Or mauled by Madame Giry.

But there was a good reason why these men liked to dress up in sparkles and frilly hats and hold candles.

But no, they are not gay.

They are the candle-bearers; the masters of the flame.

_Dun dun dun!_

This was a secret elite of men who were hired by the infamous Phantom of the Opera to hold his candles in all his dark and scary hallways.

So why did these men do such a dangerous job? Was it fun? Were they permanently high on the ecstasy in the candles? Were they seriously bored?

No! I will answer this question later on, and this is their story!

--------------------------

"This hallway's dddaarrrkkkk," whined the white dress-clad blonde ballet brat. She glared around the damp area, staring at the dull candles. She had just come from the costume room, after a very bloody battle which left thousands of phangirls dead.

But surprisingly, not the five designers, or even those three other girls died.

After the battle ended, another broke out over who got Orlando Bloom. This was the five phangirls, obviously. And that little child too. But her mother pulled Rose away, and threw her and her two friends out the window of the 13th floor and screamed to never come back.

After Orlando fled, the five girls calmed down. There was a small fight over Erik, but of course this had dire effects. Even though Lady Pendragon, Gisele, Kloolk, and Evanesce managed to hug Erik, they were all thrown out the door. Well, actually, Kloolk had attached herself to Erik's leg, so she had to be punjabbed non-fatally before thrown out.

Once in the hallway, the five girls exchanged something called 'e-mail names' and promised to keep in touch so they could plot their way back here. After that, all five scattered, wishing to cause trouble in the Opera House.

Meg now wanders the passage behind the mirror, searching for her friend. Christine went missing a little while ago, and she suspects Erik has something to do with it. But Meg lacks that wonderful ability to wander around dark passageways and not get lost that her mother has.

Plus she really doesn't like rats.

And there are a whole buncha rats down here.

She saw one, and let out a shrill squeal, tumbling backwards and hitting one of those blasted candles. And due to frustration, she yanked it out of the wall.

Much to her surprise, a man came tumbling out of the wall with it.

"Who are you?" she gasped, staying at the man all decked out in shiny gold. He grumbled something and sat up.

"I am one of the Phantom's candle-holder guys. Can I ask who you are?"

Meg blinked a few times. "What do you do?" she wondered, ignoring his question completely. How rude.

"Uhh…have you ever seen the movie?"

A quiet nod.

"I'm one of the people that moves the candles in that scene where all the candles are moving for Christine and Erik. With the rock and roll music in the background. We do that, too!"

Meg looked confused. "You play the music?"

The man smiled, stood up, and knocked on the wall. Instantly, it opened up to reveal a secret room full of the Candle Men, who were messing around with music systems and holding…candles. One of them was studying a tube that read 'Ecstasy', and trying to figure out how you put liquid in a flame.

The ballet brat crossed her arms, looking around the room. "So you guys do all the music, and everything with candles?"

Everyone in the room nodded.

"Even Erik's candle-go-out trick?"

More nods.

The man who fell out of the wall led her over to a machine. "We even can play your song!" With that, he pressed a button, and the Meg Song (for lack of a better name) music began playing.

Meg nodded slowly, understanding most of it. Due to her mother's possession of many futuristic machinery, this stuff didn't confuse her. But one thing did.

"Why do you do this job?"

All of the males smiled sheepishly. "Well…not only did we get a place in the movie trailer, but Erik also promised us…dates with the ballet girls."

She instantly began backing up. "I'm one of them, aren't I?"

Yet again, more nods.

Meg reacted to this in her natural way. She gave off the loudest scream she could muster. This scream not only broke some of the machines, but broke the ecstasy tube and Christine's mirror so far away.

"SMALLER GIRY!"

Things just kept getting better.

Erik thundered into the room, and took one look around. Seeing the terrified Meg, and the grinning Candle Men, he pulled out the punjab.

"What did I tell you guys about harassing Taller Giry's daughter?"

They all mumbled something about 'not doing it.'

Meg was now super confused. "Uh…so you didn't give them permission to date me?"

Erik looked disgusted and horrified.

"Are you kidding? Your mother would slaughter me! You and Chrissie are the only ones off limits."

She rose an eyebrow, trying not to smile. "Chrissie?"

Erik's eyes narrowed from behind the mask. "Leave before I hang you from the ceiling."

Before Meg could run away, four phangirls appeared at the door.

"ERIK!" they squealed, dashing in. Erik twitched, swooshed his cape, and ran away as fast as he could.

The female watched for a moment, then snuck out of the room. She continued wandering the hallway until someone placed their hand on her shoulder. She jumped about six feet into the air.

Madame Giry glared at her daughter. "You're so grounded."

And that is why Meg isn't seen again until the 'Too Many Letters' scene.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

**A/N: **This one is short because I was distracted when I wrote it. It isn't that funny, is it? I think I'm running out of questions. –Horrified look-. Please, if you can, send in ideas. Any question you can think of.

No review deadline, because this one wasn't as funny as it could be. But please send in ideas!

-Great Luff from the Rose Master


	10. Chapter 9

_Dis- no, wait, that's not it._  
Dis- UCK, that's not it either! Where's that bold button!  
**_Dis- Psh, that's wrong. Now…where are those other two buttons…_**

**Dis- HA! I FIGURED IT OUT!**

**Disclaimer: **Well, that was an interesting button episode. I am very pleased that a lot of people seemed to think my last chapter was funny! I was rather…distracted when I wrote it, and I didn't find my own work all that funny. Hmm…maybe I'm too harsh on myself.

-screams of 'WELL NO FRICKIN DUH!' from Insane and Veng-

….Right. Okay. Time to thank reviewers!

**Supergirrl: **Ahh, so that's what Gisele's about. Ah well, I just really liked wings! AND YES, I GET TO KEEP ORLANDO! VICTORY!

**FemmeLoki: **Yes. You have the power. We must all bow down before you. And feel free to keep Depp. I think he's a little whooooo.

And I loved the questions. In fact, I'm using one this time!

**Blue-Rose-Soul: **A new fan! Welcome to the BTR fangroup! Love the name. Love roses. Love your ideas! It's because of you guys out there that this story will last FOREVER! MUAHAHAHA!

-screams of pain from readers-

**kloolk: **Glomping: A big fat hug. Very common among phangirls. Peg legged man? Oh boy, I could have fun with him!

**The Magic Pickle Fairy: **Yes, mob, yes! And the graveyard! I have been wondering about those! Thank you for bringing them back up! –glomp-

**Lady Pendragon: **I amaze people! –tear, sniffle sniffle-. I'm so happy!

**AnntoniaMarie: **I love that idea! I will certainly use it! And I have a typical hilarious way? SWEET!

Now, here is a question from FemmeLoki that I completely _loved. _Enjoy it!

**If Erik doesn't mind killing people, why didn't he just kill Carlotta to begin with?**

(I don't even know when this chapter was set)

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No Erik, I'm not letting you kill Carlotta!"

"But she's _so _annoyinngg!" Erik whined like a small child, pouting beneath the mask and glaring sideways at Madame Giry.

"I know she's annoying. But she's a main character, the Prima Donna, and-"

"Chrissie's Prima Donna," Erik cut in defensively, receiving very odd looks from Madame Giry.

"Chrissie?"

"Like mother like daughter," he grumbled, then sighed.

"Is there any other reason that I can't kill her besides those two?"

Mme. Giry looked a bit awkward now. Did she actually have another reason, or would Erik be allowed to kill the annoying red-head.

"Erm…Panji (HOW THE FREAK DO YOU SPELL HIS NAME?) likes her?"

Erik snickered quietly. "That's not good enough. I need another reason."

Madame Giry sighed loudly, thinking. After a moment she was the picture of perfect defeat, and she glanced over at Erik.

"How about we make a deal? What do you want in order to keep Signora Carlotta alive?"

"Christine," the Phantom replied in such record speed that it defyed the laws of physics.

"You know I can't give Mademoiselle Daae to you. It's against the law."

"Then what else can you give me that's Christine related? And don't say a complete manikin, a painted picture, a music box, a opera performance set, her photograph, half of her song lyrics, her undying trust/devotion, or a pair of her socks. I already have all of those."

Madame Giry looked at Erik like he was crazy…then she remembered he was. After pondering her situation, she knew she had One. Choice. Left.

"A kiss."

Erik turned his head so fast he got whiplash. You could see the rabid obsession flaring behind his cat-like yellow eyes.

"Two," he baited, and Mme. Giry groaned.

"Two."

"And in front of the Fop."

"…And in front of the Fop."

"And then I win."

"Deal's off," grunted the older woman, and Erik looked horror-struck.

"Okay, okay. I don't _have _to win. But because that isn't part of the deal, I want a little more added on."

"What could you _possibly_ want that I haven't already offered?" she asked in a tired voice. Her first reply was that evil smirk which could melt the Arctic ice caps.

"Keep the phangirls away."

"Impossible. Next request."

"Let me kill those three anti-phangirls that no one likes."

"Also impossible. Next request."

"What do you mean that's impossible? No one likes them!"

Madame Giry sighed. "One of them _writes _this, one edits, and started carrying around a mallet and I think something exploded the last time she used it."

"Then can I at least knock out the taller one again? It's tradition!" he whined. Mme. Giry broke, and she shook her head to herself.

"Deal."

But before Erik could have a hayday and basically kill Veng, Madame Giry spoke again.

"Oh, yeah, by the way. About the phangirl thing."

Erik's happiness faded.

"One of them is here to see you," she pressed a button on the wall, and there stood a rabidly smiling phangirl with curly brown hair.

"Remember Kloolk?" The ballet woman asked in a smile as the girl rushed in and basically tackled down our poor maniac, screaming "ERIK!" and a bunch of little hearts floating above her head.

Madame Giry left Erik screaming very bloody clown-related murder and walked around for a little bit. She found Christine after a while, who looked over at her and noticed the slightly sick expression.

"Hey, what's wrong? You look like you just basically signed your daughter's best friend's life away to a crazy man and also let the crazy man kill a 15-year-old."

Madame Giry looked over at the soprano with guilt plastered across her features.

Christine laughed. "It's a figure of speech. Haven't you heard that one before?" She looked away as Madame Giry continued to stare in horror.

But then the curly victim continued. "Oh, yeah, one of those little costume girls was wondering where Erik was. I told her to go to your secret discussion room. Was that alright?"

The woman was quiet for a moment, then gave off a pretty good vampire smile. "That was the _perfect _thing to do."

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**A/N: **Alright, I'm obviously on a writing streak. It's all because you wonderful readers out there keep sending in ideas! And I appreciate them all! Continue sending them in so this story will NEVER DIE!

And about the Kloolk thing…she begged, alright? I owed her. If someone out there begs also, I'll put them in, too.

Are my stories getting shorter, or am I just less funny then I was before? Ah well, I have some pretty good ideas for a few new ones.

UNTIL NEXT TIME, MY LOYAL FRIENDS!

The BlackTippedRose


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I luff you all for sending in all those questions! Sadly, I probably won't be able to use all of them, but most I will find some way to toy with!

Now, I received a PM earlier from someone (not telling. Nya) who was like 'you're a funny writer! Why don't you try writing Phantom Fluff?'

And I'm like say wha? Writing fluff evolves a real plot, a good pairing, and, oh, I don't know, a PLOT! I'm not good at thinking up Phantom plots. But if you mail me a plot of like, _anything _(if I know about it) sure, I'll write it. I'm down with that.

PEACE!

Insane: Uh, Rose, you like, forgot to thank the reviewers.

Veng: Uh-oh. She's already mentally gone again, with 'That Look' on her face. Shall we completely ruin her reputation by dissing her reviewers!

-both girls mauled by 'BTR fangirls'-

Uh…okay. I'm going to drinking that coffee Insane told me to drink, and just…simply…thank the reviewers…

**Kloolk: **Yes yes, I am luffed. All should bow to me. And yes, she's persuasive. And she SCARES ME!

Love your new story, PS!

**Celixir: ** A one-night stand? Oh, very nice. Scar our readers.

Although…I'm surprised I didn't think of that.

I blame Eliz and Luke for my poor disturbed mind.

**Supergirrl: **Now that's addiction. Stupid name, that P guy. Who's Blunk?

**Songstressgirl07: **Oh God that's brilliant! YES YES!

**The Magic Pickle Fairy: **Christine has stockings? –blinkblink- She's not one I pay attention too…at all. Her hair makes me want to hurl…it's like watching a fan spin.

**Moonservant: **Oh course! If it made sense, then it would have a _plot _(see rant de plot above). And I can't have that! Welcome to the fanclub!

**FemmeLoki: **We can all die in peace now. Except me, because I haven't published a book yet.

Oh yes, my one track mind.

Okay, I do remember promising to do that graveyard one next, but this was so perfect.

**How does Erik keep his half-mask on with no visible means of support?**

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

"No freaking way, Taller Giry." Erik refused to turn around as he sat cross-legged, his arms crossed also, and pouting childishly.

"Mama, maybe you should just leave Monsieur Destler alone," Meg spoke up, cowering next to her mother.

"No Meg. He can't go around with his mask," Madame Giry snapped, before shooting an awful glare to the Phantom.

"What happened to his old mask?"

"The phangirls stole it," both old people (sorry Erik lovers) answered sourly.

"…All three?"

"Yes."

"Then…just make him a new mask!" Meg smiled, trying to calm down the feud that was sure to come. And it would be a bloody battle.

"We can't. The porcelain-maker happened to meet a certain 13-year-old, who showed him something called 'Chronicles of Narnia', and now he keeps running around screaming 'THAT'S A GIRL'S COAT!' and 'BADGER!'" The ballet instructor sighed, flicking her braid over her shoulder. Twice.

"I refuse to pour boiling wax on the right (It's right, isn't it?) side of my face just to create a mask."

"But in the book you have no _feeling _on that side of your face, so it doesn't hurt!" she persisted, only to get another odd look from her daughter.

"Maybe the world is ready to accept my face," the Phantom said hopefully, completely out of character.

"Turn around, Monsieur, and why don't you test that theory?"

He did so, and the second he did, Meg began screaming hysterically, looking utterly horrified. She continued until Madame Giry walked over to her friend and slapped her hand over the deformed section of his face, facing Meg.

She stopped immediately.

"Wow," Mme. Giry said quietly. "It's like silencing a record."

Did they even have _records _back then?

She lifted her hand, and the shrill shrieking continued. Then she covered his face.

Silence.

Hand lift.

Scream.

Hand cover.

Silence.

"You're poking my right eye out, Madame," Erik grumbled, turning around sharply and crossing his arms again. The woman paused a moment, then had a silent spaz attack where she wrung her hand continuously, a look of disgust on her face. When Erik peaked over, she stood back up straight like nothing ever happened.

"Maybe it's just Smaller Giry…"

"Erik, if you think that, then turn towards the camera."

"Uh…what cameras, Taller Giry?"

"The ones the phangirls installed a few days ago. It's right over there," Madame Giry pointed to a tiny blinking red light a few yards away, attached to the wall.

Erik turned his head towards the blinking device, and instantly the Something Something Then You Dreamt It song came on.

"SOME SOMETHING THEN YOU DREAMT IT? Oh come on, you insolent little child, get my songs right!" he yelled at the narrator/authoress.

The narraration sighed loudly. "Fine. Whatever."

Erik turned his head towards the blinking device, and instantly the _Stranger _Then You Dreamt It song began playing.

Screams of both horror and joy came from the camera.

Meg shifted from one leg to another. "I think I have a solution to this problem."

They all looked over at the young blonde ballet girl, who was smiling sheepishly. From behind her back, she pulled a white porcelain mask.

Erik stared in disbelief at his mask. He snatched it away and hugged it tightly.

"So, um, how do you exactly attach it to your face?"

"I just connect it to my toupee," he said calmly, reattaching his precious mask.

"You wear a wig?" gasped both women. He nodded dully.

"Well obviously. I mean, I'm like, 40 years old. I don't actually have ebony-black hair. That's why when my mask gets torn off in the PoNR scene, I have really ugly stringy grey hair."

Madame Giry's jaw fell open, and Meg looked completely disgusted.

"You know what," Meg grumbled. "I'm just going to leave. I don't feel like listening to this. I have a headache, you're a stupid creepy stupid old stupid man, and the phangirls want to go back to spying on your ever-waking moment in peace."

She walked off, soon to be followed by her mother.

Erik pouted. The narrator couldn't think of anything witty to end the story by.

"Darn you for getting sick, Rose," he growled, then turned towards the camera. Since he had the mask now, the shrieks were all for joy.

"GO AWAY!" he yelled, swooshing his cape and storming off, smashing the mirror, then walking into his secret room and closing the shattered remains of his mirror-door, being PO-ed.

…….

Fear children of the cornchips.

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

A/N: If that story does not convince you to _never _get sick, I don't know what will.

I feel like crap right now, 'ight? So um, don't be like 'THIS STORY SUCKED!' My head feels like it's going to explode.

I still luff you all, guys! And I want **70 **reviews!!!


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **Thanks for not flaming me last time. I was in a sort of sour mood around the end of my story, I had these huge exam-sized semesters quizzes the next day, and my head was hurting so bad I felt like I was going to die. But I am doing much better now, even if my e-mail has suddenly decided to be gay and stopped telling me when I had reviews or PM's. Which is retarded, because I have Fanfic on my 'accept' list.

I would like to apologize to **Christine Ruud **and **Evanesce **especially, seeing how I forgot to thank them for reviewing.

Darn you, computer.

Okay, apparently, it gives me my messages like a freaking _day _late. Yeah. PMSing e-mail.

It took three days for it to alert me one of my Alert stories had updated…and I'd already read it.

**The Magic Pickle Fairy: **The hair thing was bugging me too. It was actually Insanity/Insane who was like "Whoa, he's wearing a wig?" From there I just tinkered with that. Oh, and thanks for not flaming.

**Songstressgirl07: **Ooohhh, I like that idea! He says 'two minutes' too, and we all know it took much longer then two minutes for Erik to explain the Fog Machine to Madame Giry and kill a Progressive dude! Geez, I really need to write these things down. I have billions!

**Supergirrl: **Maybe that car-washing thing could be a BTR Bonus story!

I love your Devil's Spawn story to death, but you'd better be working on Cape Swooshing!

**Christine Ruud: **I'm sure you were going to ask about it. And you'd better fear the cornchips.

_You'd better._

**FemmeLoki: **I don't know if you knew or not, but I have severe issues with the song American Pie. But you never know…I could!

And I love gutters.

Oh, and Vengeance? Productive or not, That. Sickness. Sucks.

Guess what guys! Magic Pickle Fairy's reminder of the creepy graveyard is this chapter's question! And Evanesce begged to be in it, so I oblige!

P.S.: SHE BEGGED!

P.P.S.: I'm updating because Insane said to count something as a review. So she's technically 70.

**If both Erik and Christine get to the graveyard at the same time then why was Erik in the mausoleum before Christine?**

…**Is he even _in _the mausoleum?**

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Erik, you cannot do this," Madame Giry hissed urgently, looking around to make sure no one was watching. The Phantom just grumbled something and placed the harness on the black horse.

"Why not? She's a simple mare," he grunted, petting the mane happily.

"You stole Flicka!"

"She's just a _horse, _Taller Giry! No one is going to miss her! And I _borrowed without asking, _not stole," Erik retorted.

"She has a movie coming up, Monsieur!"

"..How do you know that?" The suspicion in his voice was obvious. The woman coughed briefly.

"That teen…she, erm, won't leave me alone. The stupid one." The ballet instructor glared at her friend. "Not only can you _not_ steal a horse, but you're going to knock out a man only to have yet another try at seducing Mademoiselle Daae."

"Oh come on, Taller Giry. I've had this mare since the beginning of the movie. Remember the horse in my underground lair? Her." He paused to comprehend what the woman said. "I'm only knocking him out," he retorted. "I'm not going to punjab him. And that's an improvement." Erik fed Flicka a sugarcube, rubbing her nose affectionately.

"The horse is female, yes, but you are not allowed to mentally rename her Christine."

The man scowled, his plot ruined and all thoughts of hugging the horse vanished. He got out the rapier, and Flicka whinnied and bucked, kicking the not-so-ghost through the stable.

Madame Giry blinked, mumbled something, and then went back inside.

----

"To my father's grave," Christine requested quietly, shuffling around in black dress that adorable, funny, creative, sweet, pre- OW, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO STEP ON MY TOE!?

Oh, yeah.

Ahem. She turned around, seeking the vase of black roses. The slightest memory of her angel flickered into her mind, but she slowly went to it and picked them up.

Behind her, a black-caped creature swept down and knocked the man unconscious.

Christine stepped onto the carriage, and the man glanced behind towards her, the light shinning off his colorless mask.

Erik spurred Flicka, listening to the Candle Men start the background music of Christine's song play.

_Uh…wait, where was the graveyard again? Erm, maybe I should follow those flashing neon director signs all across the stag- I MEAN the woods!_

He arrived at the graveyard, despite his temptation to just pull over and steal away his darling little Christine.

The female got out, and Erik paused for a moment. The second her Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again music began playing, he slit the harness of the black mare, who immediately took off at a gallop. Using his wicked Phantom speeds, he leapt off his seat and dove at the horse, prepared to land perfectly and zoom off.

But he missed, and landed face-down eagle-spread on the snow.

…Take Two….

He slit the harness of the black mare, who immediately took off at a gallop. Using his wicked Phantom speeds, he leapt his seat and dove at the horse, landing amazingly perfectly on her back and gripping the neck of the rushing creature.

"Onward, Flicka!" he shouted, dashing around the graveyard.

The camera flicked back to Christine, and if you bought one of those unedited Phantom Of The Opera remakes, you could totally see Erik on the back of a black horse and speeding around in the background.

Erik rushed past his would-be girlfriend and made it to the mausoleum. Leaning on the tomb was a fourteen-year-old with reddish/gold hair with brown tints. Her arms were crossed, the diamond bracelets twinkling against the snow. A single eyebrow was cocked above her charcoal-colored eye.

"Sup Ghosty," she said with a slight nod of her head.

HEY THAT RYHMED!

Erik's jaw dropped, and so did Flicka's after some major graphic editing.

"You're one of those Phangirl designers, aren't you?"

She nodded quietly, blowing a bang from her face.

"..Evanesce, right? What are you doing here, mon cherie?"

"Mrs. Giry paid me 200 francs (isn't that twenty dollars?) to watch you and make sure you didn't kidnap Christine, and you didn't kill Raoul in the fight scene." She stepped up to the mare and stroked her mane. "And an extra 50 to take Flicka back to her movie. Tim McGraw in it, you know?"

"Who?"

"Never mind. I have to baby-sit you. And you'd better not do anything bad," Evanesce warned, pulling a carrot out of her pocket and feeding the horse.

"Or what, you little incompetent fool? You're a mere child; you cannot stand up to an angel!"

"I have Gisele, Kloolk, Lady Pendragon, Alex, Christine Ruud, Songstress Girl, Daray, Moonservant, Celixir, and FemmeLoki on speed-dial. If you misbehave, I'll call them all."

Erik shut up, scowling. "I'll pay you 400 francs to stand in the mausoleum and work the lights for me."

"400? Why don't you give me," she paused to puff out her chest and re-crossed her arms in a stupid manor, going crossed-eyed. "Twenty-Thousand francs!" she huffed each syllable, bouncing a little.

"…Okay, yes, hey, _Dominique. _Kill the impressions and stand in the tomb."

"You don't stand in it?"

"Of course not! I'm on the roof, you silly little phangirl. But I need someone to be inside and work the lights and open the gates slowly."

"Won't I be seen, Erik?"

"Don't call me that, and no. You'll be edited out. Now, do we have a deal?" He stuck out a bony black-gloved hand, which Evanesce eyed with much distaste. But eventually she uncrossed her arms and shook the hand, but had to suppress the phangirlish squeal dying to come out. She'd acted cool this far.

"And an extra 100 to let me kill the Fop."

Even though she would have gladly allowed that, Madame Giry would have her head.

"Don't make me roof you," she said in a sincere voice, which Erik decided to take seriously and jumped onto the roof. Evanesce paused, then walked into the mausoleum.

Flicka stood silently at the side, eating her carrot, wondering where the warm place went and why her new rider wasn't that teenage girl she was so used too.

Erik sat down, watching Christine come near.

Little did he know that the horse was plotting his downfall.

_Dun dun dun._

**0o0o0o0oo0o00o**

**A/N: **I'm no longer sick! It's wondrous!

Did those names Evanesce list off from her cell phone found familiar? Thanks for reviewing guys!

I have let again stolen something from Supergirrl. That Dominique crack is from her newest story, **Frai Du Diable**. You guys need to totally read it, it's both plotful and funny.

And if I say it's funny, it's gotta be funny.

Fear Flicka.


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **What's really the point of this anyway? Everyone knows that if I _owned _Phantom of the Opera, then the entire thing would have been a parody.

And Raoul would have died.

Guess what, loyal friends! I'm…uhhhh…

Drat. Forgot what I was going to say. Well this sucks.

I wrote down all the suggestions. I have a total of eight, plus the few I have in my mind.

Oh yeah! I remembered!

No…wait…I just forgot it.

Oh yeah!

I've decided after this old bucket of laughs finally ends, that I will actually keep writing for PotO. It'll mostly be humor unless by some freak accident I think of a plot. So yes, I'll actually keep writing! Seeing how my one-hit-wonder theory for PotO has obviously crashed. Besides, I'm kinda good at this.

I'm so cool that I thank all my reviews. Psh, take that non-cool people that only list them off. xD

**FemmeLoki: **She spewed her coffee! –sobs for joy- I've made normies famous!

**Supergirrl: **This should be put on that list of 'you know you've exceeded your goals when' thing. I got a preview for _the _Supergirrl, who I basically idolized before I started writing for fanfic. And now I'm like, her fanfic buddy! Lyke ong!!!!

Loved the first question, but I'm not going to bring up the second one.

**Whisper of the Winds: **Everyone luffs a good fop bashing, but you gotta keep it to a limit. Sometimes if you just completely go out there and write stuff that makes no sense and is just plain retarded it isn't as funny. Or maybe that's just me.

I swore the mask was on the right side, because it's on Erik's right side in the movie…maybe the movie's wrong. Ah well.

Flicka will get you guys.

And you never know how my story will end. –cackle-

**Lady Pendragon: **Why does everyone have horses? I mean really. Francs. Such a fun word!

You're both Lady Emily, Lady Claire, and Lady Pendragon? Okay. You know who the coolest lady is?

LADY SOVERIGN BABY!!!

**The Magic Pickle Fairy: **Horse lovers as my buddies? Who knew!

Evanesce love her money xD.

**PhantomoftheBasket: **Whoa, large message. Uhh, I'll make it short.

I am so not a phangirl! I'm sorry, but to me there isn't much attractive about some old man with a half deformed face and is obsessed with a girl that is…30 years younger then him.

And wear does Erik go in the end? I'll tell you.

HE DIES!!

Ahahahaha, the phantom dies! He kills himself because Christine left and he ddiiieeesss! Victory!!

Veng: She read the book?

Insane: Why is she that happy?

Well, that's at least how the book goes. I'm not sure about the movie. Maybe that'll be a forbidden question.

**Kloolk: **I hope you had a fun vacation! I missed your witty reviews. And yes, we fear you.

You'd better keep writing! You're a good writer. All of you guys are!

And Evanesce knows your number for the same reason the police do. You're good at causing trouble.

And the thing Evanesce said. Which is why none of you know my number.

**Moonservant: **Ohhhh, Flicka will get you now. But thanks!

**Evanesce: **She's rich in francs! We should worship!

Uhh…what question am I supposed to use? I feel like tormenting Erik….I listened to Axel F sixteen times straight, and I ate chocolate.

BRING ON THE PHANGIRL ARMY, FOR I AM ON A SUGAR-HIGH!

**Why is there a random scene when there is a peg legged man walking around right before you see Madame Giry fixing her hair?**

**(Set in the very beginning of the movie)**

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

"Is there a reason I have to dress up like this?" the man whined, glancing back at the group behind him. They were plastered against the Opera House wall, hiding in it's shadows. 12 pairs of eyes glared at him.

"Silence, fop!" one of them snarled. Raoul couldn't tell them apart by voices. "You can go back to being a girl after we've left. We just needed you to sneak us here."

"Are you sure you'll be able to kidnap the Opera Ghost?" he questioned. The response was the leader of the group stepping up.

FemmeLoki walked out of the shadows, but it didn't make much of a difference. She was wearing all black. They all were. Black dresses, skirts, jeans, shirts, jackets, and heck, even Evanesces' diamonds were black now. They looked like spies. Four black lines were painted under her eyes, symbolizing leadership. The rest had a two lines.

"We'll be able to retrieve the package, yes. I will make sure of that." Crossing her arms, she glanced back at the shadowy coverage. "Sound off, recruits! Step out here and say your name and codename if you have one!" she commanded.

"Kloolk!" the girl stepped out of the shadows, lifting her right arm in salute and standing straight.

"PhantomOfTheBasket, codename Basket!" She took the same position.

"The Magic Pickle Fairy, codename Alex!" Same position

"Lady Pendragon, codename Lady!" Still the same.

"Whisper of the Winds, codename Whisper!" Yet again the same.

"Supergirrl, codename Gisele!" Wow, do I really have no creativity in positioning?

"Christine Ruud, codename Ruud!" That stiff thing looks really boring…

"Songstressgirl07, codename Songstress!" How lame, I mean really.

"Evanesce!" Oh, so I guess I'm rude for not giving her a codename?

"Moonservant!" I don't feel like shortening it to Moon. Servant is such a pretty word…

"Celixir!" the final girl chanted, stepping out in the line with the rest of the females.

FemmeLoki nodded them all off, making sure all the phangirls were present. She marched up and down the line of females, her arms behind her back holding an army whip I just decided to put in there.

"Stand up straight, Songstress! We have a complicated double mission today, and we must all be prepared to follow every single order given, no matter how dramatic!"

Ruud suddenly put her hands on her hips, glaring towards the leader. "Who died and made you queen?"

Basically every single girl followed suit, putting their hands on their hips or crossing their arms. The phrases "yeah, what she said!" and "you're not the boss of us!" and my personal favorite "look girlie, if you like, don't tell us right now, I'm gonna have a BF."

(BF: Bitch-fit. It's from White Chicks. It's when a girl completely freaks out)

FemmeLoki blinked a few seconds. "I'm leader because I reviewed the most," she said cheerfully, losing the military attitude for a second.

"Whhhaattt!" Gisele stormed, her jaw dropping. "I am _so _the Master Reviewer for this story!"

"Nu-uuh!" Alex jabbed in. "It's me!"

"It's me!" Kloolk defended, pouting. "I'm the Master Reviewer!"

Whisper, who already knew it couldn't be her because she had only reviewed once, took out her small portable laptop. The feud continued, sounding like that pansy/pink rose argument Lady Pendragon and Gisele had created a few chapters back.

"IT'S ME!"

"NO, IT'S ME!"

"YOU THREE ARE CRAZY! IT'S SO ME!"

"IT'S. ME!"

The computer beeped, and she blinked. Dang, mascara was really heavy. It loaded after a moment, and she clicked internet, typed into the address bar, and waited.

Alex looked ready to kill the other three girls. Then again, the other three girls looked ready to kill the other three girls.

"Black…tipped….rose," Whisper mumbled under her breath, typing it. The user lookup filled the screen, and she skipped over that useless information.

_Are you…no, no, that isn't it. There we go, Forbidden Questions! _She smiled, clicking the reviews button!

Silently, she counted the reviews.

"Whisper!" her friend Ruud hissed. Her eyes flickered upward.

"The four girls have _punjabs! _Hurry _up!_"

They did have punjabs. And all four looked ready to go at it. In fact, all four were actually foaming at the mouth.

"I'm gonna get you," Kloolk growled at FemmeLoki.

"It's _going to, _not 'gonna'." Celixir corrected matter-of-factly, and all the females went silent, staring at her in shock. This bought Whisper some time.

"Nine…ten…yes, she has eleven!" The phangirl shut her laptop and did a victorious spin/dance, and Moonservant just watched with an open jaw.

"FemmeLoki has 11 reviews, and Supergirrl only has 10! Therefore FemmeLoki is the leader," she said, closing her eyes, crossing her arms, and nodding her head deftly.

FemmeLoki let out a cheer, sticking her tongue out at Gisele. The other girl's eye twitched, and hot pink wings threatened to burst out of her black jacket.

Kloolk and Alex frowned, hanging their heads. FemmeLoki went back to her boss-mode.

"Alright ladies!" she called, including Raoul in this statement. "We have a special job before we can steal our precious Erik." Her face went somber, as did the eleven other girls. Raoul looked uncomfortable with the peg-leg.

"We must capture the three anti-phans. They will be a valuable part of this mission." She whistled loudly, and a jet black mare stampeded into the alley-way. FemmeLoki hoisted herself onto Flicka, and the rest of the girls whistled. Eleven other horses, both stallion and mare, trotted in. The eleven girls leapt onto them.

Alex immediately wrapped her arms around her horse's neck and squealed loudly.

FemmeLoki reared Flicka. "Come, loyal phangirls! Erik awaits!" she called, spurring the horse and going thundering towards the horse entrance to the Opera House were Erik snuck in Flicka the first time.

"Come on, Dede!" Lady grinned, gripping the reins of her horse. "Let's go!"

The twelve females cheered and thundered towards the entrance, literally leaving Raoul in the dust.

----

"This is cruel and unusual punishment," groaned the small nine-year-old, flipping through her Girl's Life magazine. Madame Giry smacked her cane into the ground, clearing her throat.

"You are a young child, Mademoiselle. We cannot have you running around the Opera House with that demonic little sphere of yours."

"It was only a Super Bounce Ball! I didn't expect it to ricochet off the walls and nearly shatter the chandelier!" Rose whined in defense, looking up from the magazine to glare at the woman.

"You nearly broke the chandelier," Erik cut in, crossing his arms. "The chandelier _I _have to break."

Once again Madame Giry shot Erik the 'must-you-destroy-the-Opera-House?' look, and once again he nodded sharply.

"You're grounded, little girl," the man said before the ballet instructor could cut in.

"Oh." Rose stood up, crossing her arms and glaring up at the two adults from her amazing height of three feet, ten inches. "You did not just ground me. Oh, do not make me have to hurt you both."

Madame Giry laughed, enjoying the custody over the annoying little writer. "What could you possibly do?"

Just as she said that, all the lights in the building went out. Rose was engulfed in a bright green light, then covered in the smoke of what looked like a combustible explosion.

The lights flickered back on, and the girl was no where to be seen.

"Erm, I had nothing to do with that," Erik broke in, looking around.

----

"Sup Rosie," snickered Gisele, flapping her wings silently. It was rather hard to lift not only the child, but also the crazy 13-year-old tucked under her other arm holding the bomb-causing mallet.

She glided out the window, back down to the other twelve girls and the fop.

Veng crossed her arms, having to have paid the Candle Men to kill the lights.

"What did you need Shrimpett for?"

"We need her to do a little favor for us," Celixir rolled her eyes, her face unsmiling. It was a _little _creepy.

"She does control what we all say and do, correct?" Songstress questioned, and Rose answered by blinking and pulling a pencil out from behind her ear. She scribbled something into thin air, and suddenly Songstess twitched and began dancing like a Newsie.

"We ain't gonna sell dem papes until the price goes dowan again!" the victimized phangirl cried in the New York accent.

Gisele dropped Rose in shock, and Insane burst out laughing.

Lady helped up the authoress, who brushed herself off and put the quickly wrote into nothingness again.

Songstress stopped singing and twirling in circles. Rose put the pencil back behind her ear and crossed her arms, Insane showing off the mallet to a curious-looking Moonservant.

"And when it makes contact with the ground, everything goes boom!"

The Phangirl Leader, FemmeLoki, came up again. "Young Rose, we request the capture and possession of Erik Destler."

"What's in it for me?"

"The emotional torture of Erik."

"Tempting," she responded. "But anything else?"

Basket thought quickly. "The Fop. We'll, uh, keep him in this outfit. For as long as we can."

"Aaannnddd?"

"For the love of God, woman!" Whisper stormed. "We're going to make fun of the Phantom of the Opera, which you don't even like but you're still writing for! What else could you want?!"

"I dedicated a chapter to you." Gisele reminded. "Do something for us."

She was quiet for a brief second. "DEAL!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs, pulling out the pencil. This caused a quick intake of breath from Songstress, who started crying quietly and buried her head into Alex's shoulder. Alex comforted her quietly.

"Let's make Erik suffer!"

Two other females cheered while 12 phans shrugged and followed quietly.

-----

"Did you know that it's proven people look more attractive in candlelight?" Meg mumbled, leafing through the magazine Rose had left behind. Erik suddenly looked up from his eighteen thousand, three hundred and seventy-two candles.

"Uh…no?"

Meg cocked an eyebrow and he smiled sheepishly, causing every M/E shipper in the district to cheer and beg BTR to write fluff.

"Your obsession is unholy, Monsieur," she said, sitting on the piano bench and constantly having to blow an annoying strand of gold hair that kept falling over her eyes again and again and again.

"With whom, Chrissie Darling, the love of my life whom I would gladly kill a fop to possess?"

Meg blinked, crossing her legs again and skipping ahead a few more pages. "Why am I down here again?"

"I sent Madame Giry out to go, erm, fetch something for me. Why don't you, uh, think happy thoughts or something else you preppy little blonde ballet girls do."

Since I'm a huge fan of Meg, I can't bash her too horribly But everyone needs some bashing now and then.

Meg pondered his suggestion, then her face broke out into that unnaturally happy grin, and she began to think as the cheesy elevator la-la-la-la music came on.

_He said to think happy thoughts. Hmm…I'm happy!_

And you thought all blondes were stupid. (Uh, I don't really mean that. Come on girls, don't kill me!)

Then, the melancholy horror music played in the background, and the two people froze. But the almost scary moment was ruined when a hissing female voice growled, "Don't play the _Jaws _music, it's not scary enough! Play the Grudge theme or something!"

Erik rubbed his temples through his mask (which proved to be harder then it looked), and gazed around. "Alright. How many of them are you, and what do you want now?"

"Now Rosie!" someone cried, followed by the yell claiming to never be called Rosie because it made her sound like some lesbian talk-show lady, and then there was the swish of a pencil.

Erik's head did a complete 360, which much have been very disturbing to Meg. Then he twitched a few times, and a shudder ran through his body.

"Dangit, creepy seductive men are harder to possess then I thought!"

Suddenly, it seemed like all resisting stopped. "Testing," he called without warning in monotone.

"Testing, testing." This time his voice was high and shrilly, probably a mimic of Christine, or Meg, maybe Carlotta, or it could just be a banshee imitation.

Erik cleared his throat, his face twisted in pain and humiliation. "I am a big stupid idiot who has a deformed face but still manages to get a buncha phangirls who think I am sexy."

There was a few giggles from the spygirls, and the sound of a child snickering.

"I'm in love with all my phangirls," the poor, defenseless, victimized (wow I never thought I'd type _that _for Erik!) Phantom continued, with Meg doing absolutely nothing to help him because she was enjoying this.

"I love Kloolk, and Basket, and Alex, and Lady, and Whisper, and FemmeLoki, and Gisele, and Ruud, and Songstress, and Evanesce, and Moonservant, and Celixir. I think they are totally awesome and I wish I could be cloned so I could marry all of them."

That basically triggered the phangirls hormones, and they all leapt from the shadows and tackled Erik.

Our Opera Ghost was thrown against the wall of his own lair before sliding down a little, corrupting many of his candles. The girls continued to snuggle/hug/cuddle with Erik. Alex had her arms around his neck, Ruud and Moonservant were on either side of him and hugging him around the waist, currently trying to fight off Songstress and Kloolk, who were trying to snuggle and hug him around the stomach at the same time. Lady had her arms around his shoulders and was kissing the non-deformed/masked side of his face, Basket was cuddling against his legs, her arms wrapped around the kneecaps, Whisper somehow managed to sneak behind him and was hugging him from around the middle (which was amazing, seeing how it seemed the phangirls had taken all the room of his chest), Evanesce was clinging to his right arm, FemmeLoki was clinging to his left, Celixir was cuddling against his ankles, and Gisele was simply in Erik's lap, snuggling into his chest.

"Wow," Insane muttered. "That's obsessive love."

"Well duh," Veng replied, the corner of her eye twitching. "Rose, how long are you going to make this last?"

The small child put her pencil behind her ear. "This is their control now. They can do whatever they want to him."

The three turned around, walking around, giggling quietly as Erik whimpered.

"Happy birthday, Vengie," Rose snickered, receiving a whack from her friend.

"Halloween baby! Evil demon girl!" Insane added, walking out of the mirror and into the building's hallways.

"Wanna bug peg-man Foperson?"

"Yeah!" came the double response, and Erik began screaming bloody murder, which rang through the Opera house. Madame Giry decided to come in at that moment, towing a squirming bag that was shrieking in about 16 different voices.

She glanced at the three girls. "Should I ask why Erik is screaming?"

"You might not want to go down there in a while. And you might want to get lip-gloss remover."

Raoul walked by at that moment, in all his peg-legged glory. The three girls immediately went after him.

"And I thought this Opera House would be sane under my guidance," mumbled Madame Giry, walking towards a mirror. Then she paused.

"Why does this place smell like horse manure?"

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**A/N:** You know what? That didn't even make sense. My question was answered in a stupid way, and I ate wayyy too much sugar on Halloween.

Happy Birthday Veng. And yeah, her birthday was Halloween. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELIZABETH!


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **Uh…why do I do this? I have made it quite clear I do not own Phantom of the Opera, nor do I own Nightmare Before Christmas, Maximum Ride, Ghost Whisperer, or Stephen King. Yet.

Unless you have the brain of a turnip, you've noticed I have a new parody. Phantom of the Kindergarden. It's pretty stupid, but it seemed to get a good reaction, so I am actually continuing it.

But do not fear, my loyal fans! Forbidden Questions will continue as planned, but the chapters might be a little later then they usually come. Mrs. Watkins is being a natzi and giving us project after project.

Now, if you're reading this next part, you're probably just burning time until I make a new chapter. It's the review thanking section!

**FemmeLoki: **Ha-ha, yes, you were leader. You actually have a whip? Creepy. And since you were the leader, I decided to give other people the cuddling of Erik privilege. Fair deal.

Veng made me go see Flicka. It's the freakin saddest movie.

**Serey: **Ello new fan! Thanks for loving my story, I try to be funny.

**Kloolk: **I figured I owed my fans something. The Masquerade scene was only a few people, and not that many got to snuggle with Erik. So there we have it, a chapter for all you guys out there!

And for the record, as of the very instant, Kloolk is currently the Master Reviewer! She has _one _more review then my buddy FemmeLoki.

**Supergirrl: **Oh yes, the allusive Dominique. I'm glad you enjoyed the preview.

**PhantomoftheBasket: **Yay, I made her happy! And please send in questions, I do enjoy seeing what things you guys think up.

**Staremerald: **Looks like I got another fan, guys! Thanks for the compliment, my job is to be funny.

Now, I said before, it was Veng's birthday on Halloween. Well, at her little 'party', after Flicka (-sobs-), the mall, about three hours of gossiping, and Insane and I forcing them to watch Nightmare Before Christmas (-screams of "THE FLUFF! IT BURNS!"-), we watched a little bit of PotO just to laugh at it. And suddenly, I had an answer to a requested question…

**What is in the tainted bottle Erik gives Carlotta?**

**(Warning: Slightly OOC Madame Giry due to…you'll see)**

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

The screen erupted into a rather girly evil giggle, and you twitch. You have currently been flipping through channels, and paused briefly on The Nightmare Before Christmas. But then you watched as a freaking skeleton who's legs put together are more then the height of his entire body laugh like a little girl, blowing up a string of Christmas lights, you decide to change the channel.

"Welcome back to Interview With Weird People!" the screen claimed, and you're interested for a moment until you realize it's a re-run interview with Raoul. You continue flipping channels until you find channel –604. The BlackTippedRose channel. An episode of Phantom of the Kindergarden? has just ended, and Forbidden Questions is beginning.

The useless reviews and creator's notes flash by like obnoxious credits, and finally the question is plastered on the screen. You groan, wondering what awful things that stupid crazy girl could do to Erik _this _time around.

But you decide to watch anyway.

----

"Sheep!" Madame Giry cried in disbelief, pacing around the Phantom's lair. Her obvious agitation towards the task of the next opera was growing.

"They need _sheep _for _Il Muto_! Can you believe that?" She turned to Erik, who was standing in front of his little opera play-house-like creation, tinkering with the little figurines. He was humming something under his breath, stroking the cheek of the Christine head and smiling like a complete idiot.

"You're…not listening, are you, Monsieur?"

Madame Giry sighed as her friend continued to basically drool over the doll. She hated to torment him again, but he just put himself in these positions.

Pulling the stopwatch out of her pocket, she flicked back her braid and leaned on her cane slightly. She glanced at the lake.

_No, that's cruel. _Thought our favorite cane-wielding ballet instructor. She walked over and stood in front of a wall.

"Look!" she exclaimed, taking a quick step back to get out the line of fire. "It's Mademoiselle Daae!"

According to Madame Giry's stopwatch, .2 milliseconds later, Erik was plastered against the wall, in the most awkward position imaginable.

Her smile widened. "A new record!" she grinned, watching Erik slowly turn his head to glare at his friend. His precious mask had a slight chip in it, and the look on his face claimed that she would be the one to fix it.

"Don't you have to go get ready for that stupid 'Too Many Letters' song or something?" he grumbled while turning around and leaning on the wall.

Madame Giry consulted her imaginary watch. "No, I have about fifteen more minutes. Why?"

"Because I'm about to concoct an evil potion of sorts that will poison that hen Carlotta."

"That's all?" she asked, and Erik stared with his jaw open.

"Alright. What did those girls do to you?"

"Nothing!" Madame Giry smiled. "One of them just gave me this nice brown beverage, and suddenly I'm more energetic and awake then ever!"

Erik stared a little longer, but he couldn't think of what they spiked the drink with.

"So what are you going to do to her?"

"Make her sound like the fat, ugly, warty freak she is."

"What did she do to Christine this time?"

Erik twitched slightly, crossing his arms and pouting again. "She called Chrissie a toad."

Madame Giry _tried _to be compassionate. "So because she called Christine a toad, you're going to make her sound like one?"

"Yes. It's completely fair."

The woman sighed heavily and Erik added something under his breath. "And then I'll kill Joseph say something if you disagree."

Since Madame Giry did not hear, she could not deny him. So in a sort of evil twisted way, she just granted him permission to kill that stupid drunkard.

"Speak up if I'm not allowed to kill the fop," he whispered almost silently.

"No killing Monsieur Raoul, Erik."

His jaw dropped. "How did you hear that!?"

"I have selective hearing. My ears are trained to focus in when you're talking about killing Christine's soon-to-be fiancé."

Erik growled by sheer instinct. Then he went back to business. "Okay. Mind doing me a favor?"

"Yes," she answered instantly, but he ignored her.

"One of the little phangirls dropped a book. Hairy Pottery or something or the sort. It's a book about magic and potions, and I'm sure in their world they have a potion to make Carlotta sound like a toad."

Madame Giry stared at him. "So…you want me to go _willingly _get one of the phangirls, set her free in _another _world just so you can get some sort of poison?"

Erik was back, playing with his little dolls. He started humming the Letters song, waiting for the camera to flick on and for him to sing his part and do a flashback where he is writing the letters.

"Basically." The phantom waved off his friend. "Good luck!"

---

You scowl as the television program takes a commercial break. A bunch of stupid politic commercials come on, due to the fact voting is coming up. The old people are dissing each other at the stupid attempt at being Senate, even though you're probably too young to vote anyway.

You mute the TV and lay down on your sofa, but suddenly due the fact you got no sleep last night, you fall asleep.

Your dreams are a chaotic mix of many things. Erik is there, swooshing his cape. He shrivels inside out and becomes a creepy skeleton, who walks across a street and up to Christine. His impossibly long and bony fingers touch her cheek, and she turns into a car and then runs Erik/Jack down and continues down the driveway to kill other people.

These bird kids come swooping out of the sky, followed by a woman with black hair yelling for them to cross-over into the light. One of the birds, the eldest female, screamed for her to get a life.

Due to this obviously insane dream, you miss what happens next. But when you wake up three hours later and re-runs are playing, you frown. But then you shrug. The question was answered. It's a Harry Potter potion, simple enough. You decide to watch CSI now. Because people die, and you feel like watching someone blow up.

And outside, the car in your garage starts suddenly and prepares to drive through the house and kill you.

**0o0o0o0o0**

**A/N: **Wow. I was obviously very bored.

A gold star to whoever figured out that Madame Giry was given coffee.

Dream explanation: There was Erik from Phantom, obviously, then the skeleton was Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas, then the car was from the Stephen King book Christine which is about some crazy car that kills people. Uhh, the bird people are Max and the Flock from Maximum Ride, and the woman is Melinda from Ghost Whisperer.

Come on people, you know I want 100 reviews. You know I'll be the happiest person in the world. Coommmeee ooonnnn!


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **I OWN PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!!

….

On DVD.

…

Spongebob's gay.

In other news, the cast members of Channel One have suddenly been blown up in a combustible explosion, much to the joy of every poor victim that has to watch that retarded 'Children's News' every morning during homeroom.

Huzzah.

…Wow, I have no more funny things to say.

I saw the Prestige over the weekend, and I highly recommend…not seeing it. It's a wonderful movie, yes, but the plot is _impossible _to keep up with, and you'll never know if it's a flash-forward or flash-back, and then there's the dead people and all the magicians look the same and my GOD it's complicated!

I have 2537 hits, and 100 reviews. I am much farther then I ever thought I'd be. Therefore, you are not going crazy if you read my summary. I **_am _**allowing flames. I've made it this far, why not let people help me fix my mistakes?

To all the people writing stuff like me out there; Just because I have my own story doesn't mean I wouldn't die to be in yours. Rose was created so she could torment Erik world-wide. –Grin-

TO MY REVIEWERS!

**Supergirrl: **Ah, my record-fast reviewer. Personally, I do not know what potion was made of. Madame Giry would not disclose me with that information.

Oooh, Mapquest. And yes, I actually had that dream when I fell asleep during Ghost Whisperer..

**Lady Pendragon: **…This is why you never give Parody-readers coffee. It _never _turns out well.

YES MASTER, I SHALL UPDATE AT YOUR WHIM! –bows-

**Serey: **She said another great chapter. I have a good life.

I didn't actually expect many people to know it was coffee, but some got it!

**Kloolk: **My dad is obsessed with the book Christine. He kept talking about it, and it was really starting to- DARNIT, I BROKE MY NAIL AGAIN!

….

I chew my nails too much.

Congrats on being Master Reviewer

**FemmeLoki: **Eeeek, I'm seriously afraid.

**PhantomoftheBasket: **Please remember that question! You guys always have the best ones!

**The Magic Pickle Fairy: **I'm good at guessing how people are by their profiles and reviews. It's my special talent. –Nodnod-

**Wonder Wombat: **Dude, she says she like, the toughest reviewer, and she loved my story.

THERE IS A GOD!

**Mrs. Gerard Butler: **Thanks for being my hundredth reviewer! I'll see what I can do about putting you into the story!

**Icelands: **I want to read the book sooo bad, but all I had at my usage was the movie. I'd see it if I were you. Howl's hot. ;-3

**Evanesce: **I luff my fans! And please continue your story, it's hilarious!

Insane's addicted to coffee, if any of you are asking _which _girl gave Madame Giry the coffee.

Meg owns.

**How did the angry mob get to Erik's lair?**

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

How exactly _did _that mob manage to get all the way down into the Phantom's Lair? I mean, Raoul was only able to get down there because he fell down a hole in the stairs.

And what about Meg? Wasn't she supposed to have been trying to hold the mob off? How did she get into the furious chanting crowd who wished the infamous Opera Ghost dead?

And I _swear, _wasn't she wearing a dress before she went down there? Or am I just going crazy? How did she get into the Howl outfit?

Oh yeah. The story. Ahem.

How did that furious group of anti-phans find our poor Erik? Pay attention to this serious tale of a harsh betrayal from a person no one expected to turn on him.

And more idiotic phangirls whom I just lurve to pieces.

---

"_Track down this murderer; he must be found!_

_Track down this murderer; he must be found!"_

"Well, that certainly didn't end up like I thought it would. I'm going to be I a lot of trouble…" mused a woman, watching the people storm by. She put in the head-phones.

"Hey Candle Men, your acoustic isn't working well. Crank it up a little."

A reply sounded through, sounding grumpy and rushed.

"Yes, yes, I get it. We'll send down poptarts." She pulled off the headphones and quietly began talking to herself again.

"I guess I took the prank a little too far. I didn't think that Carlotta would take my directions and map to the underground lake seriously." Madame Giry watched her own daughter in the mob. Her frown deepened. "I thought Meg would be able to hold them back."

----Let us see how the other characters handle this situation-----

Raoul tugged uselessly at the wheel, trying to save himself from drowning. But, due to the fact he is a stupid fop, he forgot he had to turn it to the right and was actually making the steely cage-thing come down faster, thus going to end up killing himself until the narrator takes pity and saves him.

….

Which so isn't going to happen.

-------

Erik and Christine were having an off-camera argument. By off-camera I mean the movie camera was watching the mob chant, while ours is currently pointed at the 'happy couple'.

"No! A tomato is a fruit!" Christine yelled at him, stamping her foot. Her sluty PONR (isn't it amazing how close that acronym is to 'porn?') skirt fluttering around.

"No, it's not! It's a vegetable!" Erik countered, his ugly, deformed face even more twisted in fury.

"It's a fruit! It has seeds!"

"I'm the genius, and I say it's a vegetable!"

"FRUIT!"

"VEGETABLE!"

"AAARRGGH!!" Christine screamed through grinded teeth at the incompetence of her would-be husband. Erik smirked, thinking he'd won.

The female promptly crossed her arms, turned from him, and pouted. Then, quietly, under her breath, she mumbled, "It's a fruit."

Erik whipped her around in record speed, then yelled directly into her face, "DO YOU WANNA BE A COMA TOMORROW!?"

**------**

Nope, Raoul's _still _drowning. But no one likes him, so it's okay. Maybe his hair will soak up all the water!

------

Andre and Firmin, having currently escaped, were now dining quietly at an Italian restaurant, pretending they didn't realize all hell was breaking loose a few streets down.

The waiter calmly brought them their pasta, then set down a fancy jar of alfrado sauce.

"Enjoy, Monsieurs."

Andre nodded, taking his fork and knife and slowly eating the spaghetti. Firmin, on the other hand, couldn't get the jar open.

"Having troubles, friend?" Andre asked through a mouthful of food.

"I can't get this blasted thing open!" His hands were pink from the effort, as was his face. He sucked in a breath and twisted with all his might, but then gave up with a grunt.

"I forfeit."

Andre chuckled, picking up the jar. "It's quite simple, Firmin," he said, studying it for a bit. Then, point-blank, he slammed it into the table, shattering the top of the jar and making the white sauce splatter everywhere.

Andre, white-faced from the topping, set down the remainder of the jar and what little was left inside it. Smiling stupidly, he began to butter his toast while random screams came from the restaurant diners.

"MY DRESS! IT'S RUINED!"

"WHO DID THIS?! I'LL SUE THEM FOR ALL THEY'VE GOT!"

"OH MY GOD, MY LEG! THERE'S JAR IN MY LEEEEGGG!"

----

Hey, blue is a great facial color for Raoul!

----

Our favorite little ADD Authoress was currently getting an interview from a reporter. The reporter had curly shoulder-length blonde hair, and wearing a navy shirt with jeans. She looked like a teenager, but held a clip-board and pen and had a name-tag that read Mrs. Caroline Butler.

Glancing from the stuff she wrote, to the little 9-year-old with inhumanly long brown/gold streaked hair and a little white child's dress sitting on, uh, thin air and writing into oblivion with a pencil, she began to question her sanity.

"So, Miss Rose, is it? You write for the genre Phantom of the Opera, and you don't even like it?"

"No, no, you've got it wrong!" Rose replied. "I don't like _the _Phantom of the Opera, Erik, but the rest are okay. Actually, I just lied. I only really care for the Giry's. Everyone else can blow up for all I care."

"You don't like Christine?"

"Her hair makes me so dizzy I'm sick."

_This little kid's crazy!_

Mrs. Butler chewed mindlessly on her pencil eraser, looking at the useless junk she wrote.

"You also claim that the 'little Grudge boy' needs a hug."

"Well duh! He'd be all better if someone freaking hugged him!"

"Have you ever even seen the movie?"

The look Rose gave her made the reporter chuckle quietly. "Oh, wait, that's right. You're a kid." She glanced at her notes, nodding absently.

"Now, explain again: How does saving the cheerleader save the world?"

Before she could reply, three phangirls burst through.

"Rose, you havta help us!" Icelands pleaded, and the child lost her concentration with the pencil and fell out of thin air.

"What's, ow, wrong?"

"It's absolutely awful!" cried Serey, wringing her hands in stress. "Raoul's drowning, Erik's taken Christine hostage, and Piangi's dead!"

"Explain to me how those the first and third one are awful?" whispered Wonder Wombat to Icelands, who giggled. But Wonder Wombat got elbowed by Serey.

"Ow! I mean, and uh, Madame Giry told an angry mob of people how to get to Erik's lair, and now they're going to go kill him!" W.W. rubbed her arm, glaring at Serey.

Rose rose (Erm, what?) an eyebrow. Then she turned back to Mrs. Butler. "Please continue the interview."

"AUTHORESS, YOU HAVE TO HELP!" all three chorused. Rose sighed, glancing back at the reporter.

"This'll have to continue sometime. I have a fop, pervert, and whore to save, and a cane-wielding woman to ground." She pulled the pencil and wrote quickly, vanishing in a puff of smoke.

----

"I'm GROUNDED?" Madame Giry scoffed, disbelief clear on her face. The child nodded, her arms crossed.

"Yes you are. You put a dude that a lot of girls like in danger, and in turn, made Christine chose Raoul. So go sit in the corner and think of all the things you did."

Madame Giry gave her the crazy look, which I personally think she deserved even though she's me.

---

Raoul's body was floating lifelessly under the bars, and cheers went up around the world. But the cheers died as suddenly time went backwards, and Raoul somehow managed to turn the wheel the right way.

Lifting himself up, he accidentally conked himself on the metal grid and fell backwards, knocked out.

Oops?

---

Well, you all know what happens to Christine and Erik. I can't screw them up anymore then they already did, so I'm just going to leave you guys here. My imagination has failed me, sadly, and I'm out of witty things.

So, I will leave you with free Raoul voodoo dolls, complete with pins!

UNTIL NEXT CHAPTER!

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

A/N: I swear, I am _not _gay. I just like Meg more then Erik because I think Erik is a dolt, and usually I favor girls in movies and shows (unless there is a _really _hot guy, like the Peter in Naria.) because they usually kick butt.

I actually gave a description of Rose. That has to be the _first _description I've ever given. Wow.

Well, I hope you guys liked this one. Keep sending in ideas so I don't have to think them up!


	16. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **I own Phantom of the Opera, because I bribed Webb.

So yes, now I own Phantom of the Opera. –nodnod-

…No, seriously. I'm making a sequel come out: Phantom of the Improv!

-Grin-

Veng:…Did Insane give you coffee again or something?

Insane: I'd never waste my coffee on her!

Erm, yeah. I don't like talking to Erik n' them, because they're boring. I tried talking to Madame Giry once, but she duct-taped my mouth shut and threw me in a lake.

**Mrs. Gerard Butler: **ADD unite!! All my chappies are interesting. And I don't call it "stupid humor." More of a "plotless day-highlight."

**Serey: **I try to make the reviewers have the most interesting lines as possible.

**Supergirrl: **Thank Insane for the argument. She is the one who told me.

I know! I mean, that's creepy how close they are.

**Kloolk: **Channel One is so freaking pointless. I only pay attention when they have like, a singer that I like on there, or the Seven Wonders thing.

Loved the stories.

**Songstressgirl07: **-Quiet for a moment- YES MASTER, I WILL REJOICE AT YOUR WHIM! –cheers and parties with all reviewers-

**Serey: **Haven't I met you before? xD More to read, coming up!

**FemmeLoki: **The pressure! It's killing me! Sorry about the kitty. Like I told you before, I watched Hermione beat up Draco at least 200 times.

**FemmeLoki: **Okay, seriously, I must be seeing double. Go for it, fight Kloolk from the title!

That story is Kre-Pe.

**PhantomoftheBasket: **-happy grin- I'm glad you guys think it's so funny!

Oh, no, please, go into detail. What masks?

Good luck on that new chapter!

**Evanesce: **I based the jar thing on something that happened to me five minutes before I wrote it. God, I couldn't get that thing open!

**The Magic Pickle Fairy: **Watch out Alex. Erik will get you!

-evil snickering from vault in the corner of my room-

Erm, that was nothing.

**Pawfoot: **I'm ecstatic you found this again, too!

I don't even watch Heroes, but that phrase is ownsome.

**LostBluePhantom: **xD People love Heroes, don't they?

Loving the questions. They're on the list.

So, who feels like being in the story? Does you? You asked so nicely on PotK.

**Vengeance: **You're a loser.

I'm so kind to my friends, aren't I?

Sorry, I'm distracted right now. I'm watching NCIS.

Sadly, this is a phangirl-free chapter. I know, I know. But the next one won't be! This one is also a double.

Note: Probably won't be that funny at the beginning, but give it a little bit.

**Why didn't Madame Giry and Erik end up together?**

(I mean really. She saved him, so what does he do? He goes off and falls in love with some ho that is half his age!)

**How did Madame Giry get her cane?**

(Set when MG was 18 and Erik was…what, 11? 12?)

Warning: This story includes a very, very, very out of character Erik.

Maria Jules (Don't know her real first name, and wasn't that her maiden name?) glanced around the empty corridors. She pulled at the ribbon in her hair, nervously shifting from foot to foot. Except she hopped, because she was a ballet brat.

"Why does he always call at night?" she whispered to herself before timidly stepped into the Premma Donna's room. She'd be whipped if they found her in there, but it was worth it.

"_Oh Angel," _The mirror sang in an unleveled voice. It was almost feminine. _"Come to me, Angel."_

"Erik," she grumbled quietly, stepping through the piles of flowers. There were a few red roses, pre-bud.

Pushing the mirror open, she stepped through the dark hallways. At the end of the winding passageways, there was a male. He had a badly fashioned mask over the side of his face, and his ebony hair was messy and unkept, all his clothes were too big for him, and his badly sewn cape was lopsided.

And he was short.

"Maria!" he called happily, rushing over and hugging her around the middle.

At this point, all MG/E shippers start actually reading.

"Erm, Erik, what did I tell you about not trying to sing complicated measures before you went through puberty?"

Erik sighed, releasing the female and crossing his arms. "Not to do it, 'cause I'd sound like a girly-girl or a fop," he repeated manually, using his un-manly voice to mimic hers.

Maria grinned and bent down, patting his head. "Good boy. Now, what was it you wanted to show me?"

Erik grinned harder (which is actually very creepy, because he isn't supposed to be _this _happy) and grabbed her hand, pulling her through the lake.

Except he was so short as a little kid that he went under.

"Uh, Erik?" Maria called, looking around for bubbles. She found none. "Erik? Erik! ERIK!" She began wadding through the water, splashing like a rabid fish and squawking like a parrot.

Suddenly, someone thrust their way through the water, looking like they were being weighed down by a soaking cape.

Actually, he was being weighed down. You can tell by the awkward position he was in, like a person playing limbo.

"Uhh…Maria want a cracker?" he asked with a smirk, mocking her parrot screams.

Maria growled darkly, grabbing him by the ear and dragging him to shore, despite his yelps of "Oww! Ow! Don't do that! Ow! That's my good ear! It's not the mutated one! Ow! Don't rip I off! I don't want to be the Van Gogh of music!"

Maria ignored all of them, remembering the incident that this stupid idiot had earlier.

It involved her favorite hairbrush, Erik's candles, and a fiery demise for her precious possession.

She'd never really forgiven him for that, despite the large amounts of blooming roses he'd given to her.

Actually, she'd made the mistake of asking why he always picked roses that hadn't budded yet. He just said they were like him.

What, an unbloomed male who's voice was still squeaky and sounding like a mouse running towards a giant cheese wheel?

"I finally finished that mannequin of your little boyfriend! What's-his-name Giry."

Maria turned crimson, glaring at the little boy she made the mistake of saving.

"Don't make fun of him. You're indebted to me. Do you want to go back to the gypsies?"

Erik twitched noticeably, his cape still dripping.

"Uh…come to my piano! I wrote a new song!"

Maria stayed put as Erik ran much-too-cheerfully to his organ, and began playing.

Yes, the music was good, but when he started singing…

…Have _you _ever heard what happens when they mix Britney Spears, Hilary Duff, Paris Hilton, Christina Agularia, Gwen Steffani, and Carlotta's voices together? (Please ignore the name typos)

Add a little bit of Michael Jackson and some Justin Timberlake.

Then just a pinch of FemmeLoki's poor dying kitty.

You have Erik's voice.

Maria flinched and covered her ears for the eleventy-first time.

Erik turned around and saw her unhappy face, so he scowled.

"It's not that bad!" he shrieked, causing her to flinch again.

In his anger, he chucked a candle at her. The candle hit her shoe, and it burst into flame.

Which was _very _smooth.

"_EERRRRIIIKKK!" _she screamed at the top of her lungs, and managed to shatter what was left of all his mirrors.

And, it managed to break one of the pipes on the organ. And the boat cracked. The water was so afraid of Maria that it went backwards. The all the candles went out, and the only light came from Maria's burning leg.

"_I'M GOING TO KIL YOU!!!"_

And then, thank God, the pain managed to knock her out.

----

Have you ever seen an eleven-year-old kid try to carry an eighteen-year-old? Let me tell you right now; it's the most hilarious thing you'll ever see.

After many, erm, awkward moments (Erik had stumbled over his cape and stepped on the bottom of his pants, causing them to be pulled down. He has very good taste in smiley boxer shorts. Thank God Maria wasn't conscious; she might have been blinded), the idiot managed to get the future Madame Giry to the Premma Donna room, to the door, and finally, the hallway.

He set her down right there and paused. Then, smiling much-too-brightly, he shrieked at the top of his lungs.

Due to his pre-puberty girly voice, it sounded like a girl's scream. So all the ballet instructors came running, and Erik ran off.

---

"Nice cane, Dr. House," Erik smirked, sitting on his bench and watching his ill-appreciated savior hobble around on the ivory cane. Maria shot him a look.

"Who's he?"

Erik opened his mouth to speak, but then suddenly had absolutely no clue who Doctor House was, so he just shrugged. "How long will you have that thing?"

Maria glanced at her bandaged leg to the black cane. "Only a few weeks. But I can't dance until I'm healed. But after I am, I've decided I'm going to keep the cane."

Erik seemed confused. This must be when he showed emotions other then obsession and fury and….bloodlust.

"Why?"

Maria smirked evilly, and Erik suddenly had the idea to start running.

_**Fast.**_

"YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS SOME DAY, MARIA!!" Erik yelled as the female limped rapidly behind him, brandishing the cane like a bat and managing to beat him with it a couple times.

**0o0o0o0o0**

**A/N: **The answers were this. Why didn't they end up together? They fought to much.

Why does she have a cane? Erik burned her leg.

Who is Doctor House? This awesomely sarcastic dude on the TV show House: My favorite television show of all time.

Why did you read this story? Because you were bored and I make you happy?  
Will you review? You bet you will. Just click the little button…

Remember, flames allowed. Just don't Erik-candle-pyromaniac me!


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **Peace dawgs. I own a computer, an imagination, a cheese cube, 394.2 billion pages written in my many notebooks, and…..three fanfics?

November 25th, 2006 -- We suffered multiple hard-drive failures which caused down-time to both email services (alerts, PMs) and the login area the past few days. These problems have been resolved and the backlog of email alerts is slowly being pushed out to everyone's inbox.

I KNEW I WASN'T GOING CRAZY!

I just watched some commercial on Sarah Brightman. Ya know, the original Christine? She apparently has a CD coming out: Sarah Brightman Diva (A soprano's greatest hits).

She's actually quite pretty. Her hair's actually brown and curly. It showed us a few clips of her PotK.

And let's just say the Erik looked like a pile of crap. –evil grin-

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS!

I actually met someone who _doesn't _like that I put phangirls in my stories, because she says fanfiction is where you write stories using the characters of a book or movie, not when you put yourself in them.

And she also hates fop-bashers.

Alright then, my wonderfully wonderful fans. It's time for the review-thanking!

**Supergirrl: **I know. I knew there had to be some reason why they didn't end up together. And yes, I am deathly in love with your story!

**Evanesce: **HOLY ----- CRAP!! Madame Giry's _that _young? I THOUGHT SHE WAS AT LEAST 45!!!

**Moriko Csove Doyle: **Ya know it does. And yes, you're coming into the story.

**FemmeLoki: **Scamp? Like, the dog in Lady and the Tramp?

I know. I love House (I don't think _he's _hot, but his eyes and actual accent are drop-dead sexy), and NCIS. And to me, it's very hard to imagine him happy.

**Nanotech: **Candle nun-chucks? BRILLIANT! Well, I'm not allowed near candles, matches, lighters….or anything that could strike a flame.

**Serey: **I know. That cane _owns._

**Mrs. Gerard Butler: **They're only like, two or three years apart, but what's the fun of a 15-year-old Erik when you could have an 11-year-old? I bend truth!

**PhantomoftheBasket: **Hey, just 'cause I ain't a phangirl doesn't mean I don't love the movie. I just don't like Erik.

Alright, I'll watch the movie again.

**GeriksLover: **It's Kloolk, guys. xDI don't want to think what had happened if the pain _hadn't _knocked her out.

DEATH TO CHANNEL ONE! LET US ALL LEAD RAIDS AGAINST THE STUPID PEOPLE!

Hey, love the new screenname.

**Pawfoot: **Everybody loves House. And no, don't feel stupid. No one's asked that. –Pats- Don't feel that you could be proved stupid around me. I'm the idiot, remember?

**Moriko Csove Doyle: **Have I met you before? –Grin-. I know! They obviously took time to fancy Christine up between falling "to her death" and being dragged "down once more".

**Songstressgirl07: **The great number? Sorry, I never watched Lord of the Rings. OH WAIT, SEVEN, RIGHT?

Yes ma'am. I will always rejoice upon your request.

**The Magic Pickle Fairy: **I know. I figured something had to happen.

**Vengeance: **Erik always does something stupid.

**The Fideal: **xD Smiley Boxer Shorts! Yes!! I'm sorry your friends hit you with stuff. And she called it the best parody of POTK yet! Splee!

**LostBluePhantom: **You're the super special person this time. You get to do what I've always wanted. And every question matters! Otherwise the story will die!

Alright. I know this question was on everyone's mind.

Veng, Insane, and Rose? That last name has nothing in common with the others!

And it doesn't. They're all shortened. Veng is Vengeance, Insane and Insanity, and Rose is actually Hope, which is short for Hopeless.

Hopeless, Insanity, Vengeance. Or, quite commonly called, H.I.V.

xD Sorry guys. I just had to say that. Now onto the real question.

This was a requested story. I still forget who requested it.

Guess what guys? IT HAS PHANGIRLS!!!

**How exactly did Erik get the swan bed into his lair?**

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Work faster, slaves!" Erik yelled over the grunts, moans, and pants. He snapped his stolen FemmeLoki whip, and received about twenty-five death glares.

Now, who were the slaves?

Madame Giry, Meg, four random Candle Men, two Anti-Phans, one Authoress…and sixteen Phangirls.

All 25 of them were currently wading through water in the lake, all supporting a giant swan bed on their backs.

Actually, 24 of them were trading water. Rose, being short and nine, kept tripping and falling face-first into the water.

"Erik!" snarled Madame Giry, her right eye closed from the strain. "Can't you just use all the Candle Men instead of us?"

"Why should I when I can torture them?" he asked innocently and gestured towards Pawfoot as she suddenly screamed and fell into the lake. He stifled an evil chuckle.

"I'm a freaking reporter!" Mrs. Gerald Butler yelled. "Why am I doing manual labor?"

"Why are any of us?" Fideal countered, suddenly falling into the water. She held her breath and swam out from under the group and stood up again once on land, crossing her arms and glaring at Erik.

"Get someone else!"

Erik could only stare at her until the other phangirls figured out why.

"SICK PERVERT!" they screamed, all abandoning the bed and crawling out from under it (Madame Giry went with them), chucking an assortment of items at him while Supergirrl left with Fideal for a few minutes to get her a _not _wet shirt. The items included a potato, a remote control, three different colored heels, a stapler, a spork, and a somehow plugged-in hair-dryer.

The hair-dryer, of course, skimmed the water and electrocuted those left in the water. The victims were, of course, Meg Giry, four Candle Men, two Anti-Phans, and one Authoress.

Now, when you get electrocuted, you momentarily stop breathing. And do you know what happens when the Authoress stops breathing?

The world collapses, simply put.

So, for about five seconds, the world was coming to an end. Everything is shaking, there is an earthquake, hurricane, typhoon, monsoon, tidal wave, avalanche, rock slide, a swam of locust, the black plague, the lake water turns to blood, all the other biblical signs like from the movie coming out soon The Reaping caused by a demonic little girl, and it rains red-eyed tree frogs.

All in Erik's lair.

All in five seconds.

Then, Rose starts breathing again. Along with Meg, four unnamed Candle Men, Veng, and Insane.

Erik, so happy that his world is no longer coming to an end, makes the mistake of rushing into the water and hugging Rose.

This, of course, causes her to have a heart-attack, and the whole world-end thing starts all over again.

And then it ended eight seconds later (those extra three seconds allowed a flash-flood inside the lair, the sun died, and Paris Hilton became the presidant for 1.5 seconds, an army of mutant guinea pigs the presidant the other 1.5 seconds).

Rose awakes to find 16 phangirls, 2 anti-phans, and 2 Girys attacking Erik.

Brita (Moriko Csove Doyleand) and Basket were the first to notice that the Authoress was alive again. They squealed happily and pulled her still static-y body out of the water.

"We thought he'd strangled you!" both yelled at the same time.

Songstress, who decided it would be smart if she pulled this fanfic together and got them back on all track, leapt onto the bench and whistled loudly.

"Come on guys!" she yelled, and everyone silenced. "We have to get back on the topic of the question!"

They all turned around to look at the bed floating the pink-tinted lake water.

"But carrying a bed isn't funny!" whined Nanotech. She bounded over the recently released Rose, grasped her by her shoulders, and shook her madly.

"WE WANT FUNNY!"

"Nanotech!" Evanesce yelled, pulling Nanotech off her. "Don't abuse her!" As she called 'her', Evanesce swung her arm out towards Rose, which smacked her in the head and knocked her backwards, almost hitting Alex with her hand also.

Alex then called, "Watch it! Don't make me have to beat you up!"

All three then got into a brawl.

Kloolk joined in on it, because she's just that kind of person.

"Hey!" Erik yelled, stomping over to the four. "Break it up!" He grabbed the back shirt collars of Alex and Nanotech, but Madame Giry had to come over and restrain Evanesce and Kloolk.

"You girls are acting idiotic! I haven't seen fighting this bad since chapter 13! You are all getting completely off subject, and you all need to straighten up, or we're sending you all back home and turning this into a phangirl-free fic!!"

Silence. Pure, unadulterated, silence.

Even Erik was gaping at Madame Giry. He dropped Alex and Nanotech, who both yelled for a brief period of time, then were quiet again as they hit the ground.

For ten whole minutes, there was no sound.

Until the sound of sloshing water came through, and Supergirrl came back with Fideal.

"Hey, uh, what's wrong?" she asked quietly. Without warning, Songstress, Serey, and Brita ran over to Supergirrl because she was technically the oldest phangirl (17, nearly 18. Or at least her character is) and hugged her tightly, crying.

"We were so scared!" sobbed Serey, causing a jaw-drop from Veng and Insane.

"We thought that we were gonna get sent back home!" chimed in Songstress, and Brita sniffled.

"We don't want to leave!"

Suddenly, all the phangirls began crying and hugging each other. Evanesce hugged FemmeLoki, Nanotech hugged Mrs. Gerald Butler, Pawfoot hugged Alex, Klook hugged Basket, and BluePhantom hugged Fideal.

Jaws from Veng, Insane, Meg, Erik, Rose, and Madame Giry hit the floor.

"You made the phangirls cry!" Insane whispered in disbelief to Madame Giry. Shock and horror were plastered across her and Veng's faces.

"Those phangirls are our responsibility!" Veng continued. "And you made them cry!"

"B-b-b-ut I-I," Madame Giry was silenced as Insane rose her hand, sticking her nose into the air.

"Do not talk to us!" she sniffed, then her and Veng went around comforting the phangirls.

Of course, while this was happening, random Candle Men numbers 1-4 were lugging the bed in the background, grunting loudly.

Rose just stood there, frowning with her arms crossed, shaking her head.

"You guys are despicable," she muttered, the crying in the background increasing.

Even Erik was staring at Madame Giry, ignoring the Candle Men in the background.

"You made the phangirls cry!"

The Candle Men set the bed down, groaning loudly and going back towards their secret exit.

"Um, girls?" Madame Giry piped up. They all magically quieted, though the sniffles and whimpers continued as they all watched her with moist eyes.

She flinched, and Rose took pity and whispered something quietly to Madame Giry, taking out her handy-dandy pencil.

"Why don't I, erm, take you all out to get…ice-cream?"

The shrieks of joy were deafening. All sixteen phangirls, two anti-phans, and Meg jumped up and down, cheering.

Erik squealed too, clapping his hands. When Mme. Giry gave him The Look, he silenced.

"Thank you, Madame! We forgive you!" Basket called, and started applauding. All of them started applauding too, and Madame Giry sighed and led them all out of the lair.

----

"So, how exactly do I get them ice-cream?" Madame Giry muttered, and Rose grinned, quickly scribbling into the thin air.

"Out the Opera House, down the street, take a right, two lefts, and look at the glittering building that looks horribly out-of-place."

She nodded, then turned around and briefly counted everyone.

"I LIKE CHOCOLATE ICE-CREAM!" Serey screamed, and Klook added it, "MINT ROCKS YOUR TOASTER OVENS!"

They got in a small three-minute argument over chocolate and mint ice-cream, which the looks from the disbelieving phangirls silenced.

"Hey," Meg spoke up. "Where's BluePhantom?"

----

"She is SIXTEEN!" BluePhantom yelled at Erik, who had his head bowed in shame.

"You cannot try to marry and seduce a girl that is only SIXTEEN! You should be ASHAMED! Christine deserves better." She crossed her arms, then watched him a little longer. He was now looking pitifully at the phangirl, using the puppy-dog face.

Sighing, BluePhantom gave in. "Fine. Let's go join the group and get ice-cream."

Erik's face lit up, and he jumped up. She smirked.

"You have to be inconspicuous." She stuck a windmill beanie on him, and flicked it lightly. Then she grinned.

"Alright. Let's go." She led away the idiot phantom, who seemed very unhappy about the hat.

But it made everyone happy to think about.

**Now, for a much waited for BTR Bonus Story!**

(Mini Question. Why didn't Erik and Meg end up together?)

"…So…." Erik started quietly, sitting on the piano bench and watching his candles burn. Madame Giry, who was sitting on the other side of the piano bench, looked over at his calmly.

"Um, I was wondering, if I could…uh…try and win the heart of your daughter?"

Madame Giry's neutral smile vanished instantly, and she sucked in a _very _deep breath.

"If you do, I will put you on painkillers, then forcibly remove the painkillers from your bloodstream, buy a chainsaw, go cut down a few trees, bring back the logs, start a fire, throw you into the fire, throw wet logs on you to put said fire out, use the chainsaw to cut off your limbs, fry them on a disgusting deep-fryer, get a manual saw, slice up your limbs into little pieces, then feed them to the _Il Muto _sheep."

Erik was dead silent for about seventeen seconds. Then he breathed quietly through his nose, and clapped his hands to his legs before standing.

"Alright then. Christine it is. Thank you for your blessing; I'll send you an invite to the wedding."

Then he started out of his lair, then he realized it was _his _lair, so he turned around and pointed calmly to the doorway, which Madame Giry exited out of.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**A/N: **I'm horrible. I made the phangirls cry. But I had fun.

Sorry about the off-subjectness. And sorry for making the phangirls cry!

The mini question was actually going to be a real question, but I couldn't make it long without making it cheesy.

Peace, Love, and Gap;

BTR.

REVIEW!!!!!


	18. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **I own Erik.

Alright my little buddies, how are you doing today? I am fine, except for the fact I have laryngitis (And strep. Yay me), and I cannot speak. At all. When I do, I sound worse then froggy Carlotta.

This is going to be a very special phic. This is going to be a collection of BTR bonus stories, so I can go ahead and scratch off all the questions on my list that I can't make into really long stories!

I must apologize, though. Thanks to Kloolk, I finally realize that I've been spelling Mrs. Gerard Butler's name wrong. It isn't Gerald, as I thought before. It is Gerard. I am a turnip brain, so please forgive me.

Uhh…I wrote a new oneshot parody?

Uhhh…I wrote a new parody with Supergirrl?

And now I thank reviewers.

**PhantomoftheBasket: **I am mucho happy that I made you happy. My point in life is to make people happy.

**Gerikslover: **Ha. You make all the fans jealous. DEATH TO CHANNEL ONE!! DEATH TO MEKA NICHOLES AND CALI SOMETHING!!

**Moriko Csove Doyle: **I have the uncanny ability to get my fangirls (Ha! I have fangirls! xD) cameo's pretty close to the real thing.

Ooooh, new question, added to the list! Maybe it'll be in today's thingy.

**Pawfoot: **You seem like the klutzy one. ;3 Just kidding!

**Mrs. Gerard Butler: **Awww, poor Meggy! And you no longer like Erik? Does that mean you're joining the great and powerful .3 Anti-Phans, death to Erik?!

**LostBluePhantom: **Blue…that was the nickname my other friend had…oh well, it's a fun name! Alright Blue (Wow that's going to freak me out for a while), that is your new name!

Did you enjoy yelling at Erik? I hoped you would. And I love all three questions, they're going on the list!

**Supergirrl: **Yes, yes, I know I'm funny. I'm amazing. xD Just kidding guys! I'm not bragging!

Bad Dominique! –Whacks- Be a good girl! You have to learn to be nice if your going to be dealing with new writers!

**Angel of Music lover: **I don't mind if you're a phangirl. As long as you don't put me on your hitlist.

Did you know I'm on a bunch of phangirls hitlists?

Awwww, thank you for loving the story! Your question is going on the list.

**Songstressgirl07: **You're not leaving! None of you are! Don't worry.

Oh, nice about the love triangle thing. My class used to say that Cali and the loser guy that was there last year but left (or died) would make-out as soon as the camera turned off.

**Serey: **Chocolate ice-cream's sweet.

**FemmeLoki: **Ha! When you write this, you just have the automatic assumption that all the phangirls are under 18.

Oohh, you want your whip back? Here, I'll give it back during the story. And I'll work on the autograph thing.

**Nanotech: **Ha! Don't die! I'd be sad. And nice on the corset thing; I've sure they suck.

**Luckii.Jinx: **Aww, I'm sorry! Don't soil yourself! xD

Aright. Writing, writing! This is going to be a _very _long chapter.

**0o0o0o0o**

"Come on people, this is a very special chapter!" Rose yelled, scampering around the conducting pit. She glanced up at the closed curtains, and heard nervous pacing behind it and quiet talking.

"Phangirls! Curtain rise in three, get into your order and get your questions ready!"

Meg, who was helping the three Anti-Phans get everything together (Madame Giry was backstage with the phangirls) shot a look to Veng, who nodded.

"Shrimpett, calm down. This is just like any other chapter!"

"No it isn't!" she cried shrilly. "This is a different kind of chapter. What if people hate it? What if they flame? What if no one wants to read the stories anymore?"

Veng, for the sake of everyone in here, beckoned to Insane. Insane smacked Rose with the mallet.

"You have 154 reviews, Rose. Calm down."

Meg was just staring at them. _Is this what my mother always has to go through?_

There was the sound of a cane smacking something hollow (probably a phangirl's head), and Rose looked up again.

"Why does Ms. Giry even, like, have the cane? She's not a cripple," Insane asked Meg.

"She uses it to keep time with the music, and to discipline ballet brats. She doesn't actually need it."

Rose was currently playing with the conductor's baton, then the monkey clapper next to her started chiming to the masquerade song.

"You stole Erik's monkey?" Veng asked quietly.

Rose ignored her friend, clicking the baton against the bottom of the stage. "Question number one, come on!"

The curtains pulled apart, and the first phangirl pranced onto stage. Two of the anti-phans and Meg burst out laughing.

"I hate you," Angel of Music Lover hissed down to the Authoress. She adjusted the frilly ballerina outfit she was wearing (Long pale-blue tutu with matching ribbon tied in her hair), and stood posed like a dancer for Swan Lake. After growling to the new conductor, she straightened up and smiled to the non-existent audience (which would also be the readers).

"Hello! My name is Angel of Music Lover, but you can just call me Angel. I am hosting this question due from random selection. Our little mini question is…. If Meg is Christine's BFF, how come they're barely in any scene together? Forbidden Questions Inc. would like to apologize for the fact this is a mini question. Thank you, and enjoy." Angel bowed deeply, receiving applause from the three Anti-Phans and a reassuring grin from Meg. The curtains closed again, and the mini question began.

----

Meg Giry sat on the edge of the bank, crossing her legs and resting her feet in the water. They were bleeding just a tiny bit. Madame Giry was a very cruel instructor.

"Tell me, Monsieur….why am I here again?" she turned her head slightly, glancing back at the phantom who was currently playing the organ. He was scribbling onto a music sheet.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you keep me down here? I mean, every scene where neither of us are in it, I'm stuck down here. Can I have an explanation?"

"Your mother doesn't trust you," he replied quiet simply, shifting his papers around to check his Death To The Fop plan. Meg didn't exactly take it as easy.

"She what!?"

Erik tried waving her exclamation off, going back to writing his song. But without warning, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and he slowly turned around.

Meg was standing about an inch behind his organ bench, arms crossed and glaring at him.

The sheer shock of her moving so quickly made Erik let out a yell, and he toppled backwards off his bench, nearly hitting Meg.

"I scared you?" she asked suspiciously. He glared at her.

"Ghosts make more noise then you."

Meg ignored him, rolling her eyes. "Now, what were you saying about my ma not trusting me?"

"Uhhh, nothing."

The ballet brat didn't take this as an answer. Very quickly, she moved to the side of the bench and tipped it over with one foot. Erik let out a very satisfying yelp as the bench fell on him. She put one foot on top of the bench, keeping it down.

"Answer the question."

"I…thought…you…were….some….little….harmless…ballet…girl!" Erik choked out, lacking oxygen. Meg pressed down on the bench harder.

"Answer the question."

Erik took a few gasps of air until the uncovered part of his face turned as blue as Angel's tutu. It was then that Meg realized if she'd continue, she'd kill him.

But also, you must remember, I _really _don't like Erik.

"Don't you event think about it, Rose!"

Meg, and the suffocating Erik looked up towards the ceiling as it opened and Angel slowly floated down, frowning.

"I'm the narrator of this question, and I can't let the Authoress kill Erik. Meg, please step off the bench so he may answer your demand."

Meg seemed unhappy as she removed her foot from the bench. Erik's face went back down to it's normal shade, and Angel seemed happy. She vanished again.

"So, what were we talking about?" Erik mumbled quietly, pushing the bench off of him and setting it back down.

"I was trying to kill you because you wouldn't tell me why my Ma doesn't trust me."

"Oh, yeah, that's right."

Erik was quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he remembered.

"She expects you to run off with some skank."

Meg's jaw dropped, and she just stared at him.

"She what?"

"Well, first of all, have you even seen what you wear? I mean, the only thing that looked mildly innocent was that white dress you wore when you sang your song. But all your other costumes; really! That Hannibal costume? And the Don Juan? And shall we bring up your flashy Masquerade? Plus the actor that plays you is like, a porn star."

Meg was horribly ashamed of herself, and instantly began blaming Antonio for designing her costumes.

"Wow. I never knew that I looked so slut- hey, what's that?" She pointed towards a giant vat of bubbling black liquid, hidden by a bunch of candles. Erik turned his head.

"Oh. That's my tar. After waxing my toupee, I dunk it in there. How else do you expect it to get so black?"

Meg was severely disturbed.

----

Rose snickered, ignoring the large bump on her head where Angel hit her with a shoe for trying, once again, to kill Erik. She quickly scribbled both the car-wash theory and the mini question off her list, then went straight to the next one.

Tapping the baton against the stage, she yelled for the next phangirl.

The curtains opened again, and a very, very, _very _furious-looking FemmeLoki stood in a hot pink tutu with matching ribbon, looking down at Rose with an expression that simply stated: I'm going to kill you when you're sleeping.

"My name is FemmeLoki, and due to random selection, I will be hosting the next mini question. It's actually four: Why is Raoul hanging in front of Christine's door when she goes to the graveyard, how does Erik play the organ in the lair without anyone noticing, why does everyone portray Raoul as a fop, and how does Meg get her pants magically dry in that last lake scene. Thank you." The phangirl bowed, and the curtains closed once more.

---

It was not a good day for the PotO males. Well, it wasn't a good day for Erik and Raoul.

Erik had been victim to countless phangirl attacks, including an all-out dogpile, Luckii.Jinx trying to take his mask, and Songstress attempting to rip his cape off his shoulders and hug it.

And then, of course, there were the Anti-Phans and Authoress, doing absolutely nothing to help him.

Raoul, on the other hand, had been more tormented. The phangirls had dumped a strawberry milkshake on him, then glued him to the seat outside the ballet girl room, then dumped pink streamers, then dyed feathers, and wrote the word 'FOP' across his forehead.

It was going to take a lot of make-up from those movie people to hide it for the next scene, when Christine went to the graveyard.

"This sucks!" he growled, yanking off his wig (OMFG) and shaking his head, fixing his naturally blonde and short hair.

Mrs. Gerard Butler, who had been spying on Raoul, holding a tub of maple syrup, dropped her jaw.

"That…long, foppish hair of yours is fake?"

Raoul stared at her, then the ruined toupee in his hands. "Well, duh. I'm not actually some gay wimp that only gets his butt kicked by the Phantom. Actually, I win in the upcoming Graveyard scene."

Mrs. Gerard Butler passed out from shock of Raoul not actually being a true fop.

Erik, who was down in his lair, let out a loud scream of fury. His lair had been ransacked, and a lot of his possessions had been taken.

"Darn those phangirls," he snarled, plopping down on his piano bench. He began belting out his feelings of raw hatred, but he noticed something very quickly.

His organ was nearly silent.

Lifting his head slowly, he noticed that the upper parts of the organ pipes had been bent. Scratched into the three middle pipes were the initials 'R, I, V'.

He slammed his fists into the keys (which made little sound), and screamed again.

"Having an off day, Ghosty?"

Erik turned slowly to see a smirking Veng, twirling a small dagger on her pinkie. Sitting next to her in the thin air were Rose and Insane.

The Phantom of the Opera, having had the last straw snapped, pulled out his Punjab and advanced on the three of them. Insane just grinned harder, nudging Rose.

The Authoress took out her pencil and Erik froze. She quickly scribbled something, and he heard electricty crackle behind him.

"Why don't you just…_take a seat,_" Veng said smoothly, and Rose continued writing. Erik abruptly went into the air, and he turned his head to see the electric chair behind him.

But before the three Anti-Phans could enjoy watching the Opera Ghost fry…

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

FemmeLoki came out of no where and tackled the three AP out of the air. There was a rather violent struggle between her and the Authoress, but FemmeLoki finally managed to wrestle Rose's precious pencil away from her.

She stood and backed up rapidly, holding the pencil with both hands, poised to snap it.

Rose, of course, looked horrified.

"Don't. Do it," she said slowly, taking a step towards the phangirl. FemmeLoki's grip tightened.

"What happens if I break this pencil in two? Will the world collapse?"

Rose shook her head, ignoring the loud argument between Insane, Veng, and Erik in the background.

"No! We aren't going to help you win Christine! You lose! Deal with it, you stupid 35-year-old man!"

"I just lose all my power over the PotO cast, and you guys," Rose admitted slowly. FemmeLoki smirked, her grip becoming so taut that the pencil cracked a little. Rose paled.

"I'll give you anything you want; just give the pencil back."

FemmeLoki thought about it. Then she looked back at Erik, who was currently trying to kill the two Anti-Phans via candle nun-chucks.

"I want my whip back. And I want it signed. By Erik. With love."

Rose considered the possibility of this happening. But then again, she liked it when odds were against her.

"Alright. Just stop straining my pencil."

The phangirl obeyed, and the Authoress slowly turned around and looked over at Erik.

"Hey stupid!"

Erik, Insane, and Veng all looked over at Rose. She blinked.

"The tall one."

Insane looked away.

"The tall _male _one."

Veng looked away, and Erik seemed curious.

"You remember FemmeLoki, right?" She gestured behind her to the phangirl who at the moment, was staring at the pencil. Then she wrote something, and a giant chicken fell on Insane.

Erik nodded. "Didn't she lead a cuddling plot against me?"

"Uh…if I say yes, will you be mad?"

"Yes."

"Then no. She didn't. Anyway, you stole her whip a chapter back. I need it back."

The Opera Ghost blinked a few times (at least I think he blinked. He might be crying because I'm taking the whip away.) and pulled a punjab out of his cape pocket.

Rose seemed annoyed. FemmeLoki, who was still scribbling intensely, created a small army of walking Snicker-Doodles, which were currently trying to maul Insane and Veng.

The Authoress ignored them, of course.

"Not a punjab. Her whip."

"It _is _her whip, you insolent fool," Erik snapped, losing his patience.

"Fine. Just sign it."

Erik rolled his eyes (at least we think), and pulled his pen out of his other pocket, then scribbled a small message to FemmeLoki.

"Happy, you ignorant child?"

Feeling a song coming on, Rose just snatched the punjab away. And it was FemmeLoki's whip, just twisted every way to be turned into a Punjab. And the engraving read:

_Dearest…Phangirl FemmeLoki._

_I will be forever in debt to you if you kill the three Anti-Phans, and Raoul. I am apparently being forced to compliment you. Uck. Let's see…you're very pretty?_

_O.G._

While Rose spent seventeen minutes unraveling the whip, FemmeLoki was attacking the two Anti-Phans with mini Giry's. They started beating Insane and Veng with their canes.

"There! Finished!"

The phangirl looked up from her assault via wind-up parrots. Rose skipped over, back to her much-too-happy state of mind. She extended the whip.

"Pencil."

"Whip."

"You guys are defiantly great talkers," groaned Veng, who was currently supporting three black eyes (Don't ask), and varies bruises on her feet, before she swooned and fainted.

FemmeLoki reached out one hand, palm-up, and Rose mimicked.

But then, without any warning at all, the Authoress struck out and took her pencil, then cracked the whip. It went flashing over and knocked over a candle (And Insane. And Erik). Instantly, a giant jet of air forced its way to the surface beneath FemmeLoki. Due to the fact it was on full-power, it sent her flying.

Laughing evilly (it was very creepy), Rose tossed the whip into the air torrent, returning it to her.

"That is why you do not mess with me!"

Erik looked ticked. "Don't play with my emergency drying machine! That's how I make all my clothing dry after I rant around in the lake and stupidly release Christine!"

Rose turned to him for a second.

"Christine is your sister."

She grinned and ran off as Erik momentarily died.

-----

"Are you on crack or something?" Meg whispered down to the Authoress. She decided not to reply.

_Click click click._

"Question Three, on stage!"

The curtains opened. LostBluePhantom pranced on stage wearing a lavender tutu with matching ribbon, sending death glares to the Authoress.

"Hello everyone!"

Crickets.

"My name is LostBluePhantom, but call me Blue. I am here to host the final mini question. Why do we never see Christine in regular clothes, is there a reason the managers don't do much, except freaking complain, what the heck is with that weird dancing guy with the fans in the Masquerade scene. Please enjoy!"

She bowed, and the curtains closed once more.

----

"Ma'am, you realize that having all your clothes stolen and replaced with this floozy ensemble is not a crime?" Luckii.Jinx-turned-police-woman said boredly, pretending to write down the "crime".

"My Angel has replaced my ordinary attire! You must help me!"

Jinx looked up at her, not actually paying attention. She secretly had an iPod earphone in, and was silently jamming to Wind It Up (It's stuck in my head. Forgive me!).

"Look lady, you're already an idiot for choosing the wrong guy. Don't go blaming the much-more-sexy-then-Raoul Erik for the lack of your clothing."

Christine, the ditzy soprano, was silenced by logic.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"I have a theory that the managers are robots. That's why they worked in the junk- excuse me, scrap metal industry. It allowed them to be close to their family."

Nanotech looked over Serey, who just said that.

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"You're the one sneaking around with me, trying to prove my theory wrong!" Serey retorted.

"But how does being robots explain why they complain?" Nanotech challenged.

"Their programmed to complain."

Nanotech sighed, knowing she wasn't going to get much more out of her friend (All phangirls are friends!).

"Fine then, Miss Know-It-All. We'll wait here, and see if Andre is a robot, or if he's just an annoying manager."

The two phangirls were silent as they lay on their stomachs, side-by-side, peaking out of the air vent, spying on Andre.

The old, short, and frizzy-haired Andre walked around his office, humming softly.

"I think he's just gay," Nanotech continued, but she was shhed by Serey.

After two hours of lying in a stuffy air vent, and being half-asleep, Nanotech grew bored.

"Let's just leave. Apparently he just likes complaining."

Serey nodded, rubbing her eyes. They were about to crawl backwards out of there when suddenly there was sound.

_Clink clank, whirr, reeeee._

They both immediately looked back to Andre, who suddenly stopped moving and was hunched over. Firmin poked his head in.

"Darn. Forgot to wind him up."

He walked over and wound up the giant key on Andre's back while the two phangirls stared with open jaws.

"How did we miss that giant key?"

"Don't ask."

Both of them, completely scarred for life, crawled backwards, promising to tell what they saw to no one.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"What's with him?" Pawfoot whispered to Brita, who shrugged. The two phangirls were in the Masquerade, Pawfoot dressed as a red fox, and Brita dressed as an Arabian.

The two phangirls watched Masquerade Dancer #5 spin around on the center of the stairs, dancing complicatedly.

"Should we ask someone?" Brita mumbled to Pawfoot quietly, scanning the room for someone to ask.

"Well, we have two choices," Pawfoot said suddenly. The other girl looked at her.

"Who?"

"Well, we could ask them," Pawfoot pointed over to one group of Masquerade-ers. It consisted of Supergirrl, Kloolk, Rose, Veng, and Insane.

"Or we ask Carlotta."

Brita seemed repulsed at the idea of asking Carlotta for help. Two two walked over to the cheerfully-talking group of non-PotO cast.

"And then, of course, I heard that the poor thing fainted from shock. Who knew that Raoul had a toupee?" Supergirrl laughed, supporting a wine glass filled with sparkling grape juice. None of them were allowed alcoholic beverages, for obvious reasons. She was dressed as a humming bird, complete with wings.

"I know! That poor Mrs. Gerard Butler. But then again, she shouldn't have been spying on Raoul. It could have been much worse," Kloolk smiled, her costume being a slim white feline.

"Like catching Raoul having a mirror-make-out session?" Rose offered, getting receiving laughter from the rest of the group. She and her two friends were dressed as a lion (Veng), a lamb (Insane), and a mouse (Rose.)

"Eww. Dude, I would be, like, totally scarred for life," Insane said, and Veng nodded, eyeing her drink.

"I don't think you should drink that, In. You're already much too hyper."

"Excuse me!"

The group of five turned to see the two phangirls. They all smiled.

"Hey Brita/Pawfoot!" they all chimed happily.

"Hey," Pawfoot responded, then pointed up towards the dancing man. "We were wondering who that was."

"It's Erik."

Everyone stared towards Veng, who raised her eyebrow.

"What? It's so obvious that it's Erik, who, while trying to remain secretive, decided it would be smart to dance around doing the old-timed Robot."

There were no other comments.

------

Down in the conductor bit, Songstress was grinning evilly, holding the stolen baton. She leapt onto the stage and turned to face the audience.

"We had a lot of fun today. But we decided that since us phangirls had to suffer, we decided to end the chapter with some festive singing to get us in the mood for the Christmas spirit. Please enjoy the singing styles of the three Anti-Phans and Phangirls!"

Songstress bowed and quickly snuck into the curtain before it opened, revealing three very uncomfortable females in silver tutus.

Behind them were all the phangirls.

Then the Anti-Phans began singing, with Mme. Giry on the piano.

(To the tune of Deck The Halls)

"_Deck the lair with gas-o-line!"_

The phangirls in the back did the background music. _"Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la!"_

"_Light- a candle and watch it gleeaamm!"_

"_Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la!"_

"_Burn, the Opera House down to ash-es!"_

"_Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-la!"_

"_Aren't- you glad you played, with, match-es!"_

"_FA-LA-LA-LA-LAAAA, LA-LA…LA…LA!_

The curtains closed, and the chapter ended.

**0o0o0o0o0o**

**A/N: **Wow. I'm crazy. I think I managed to use every single reviewer that reviewed the last chapter. And I have a lot of apologizing to do.

To the Phangirls: I am sorry if I made you out to be cruel, uncaring, or mentally insane. This, in no way, reflects the way I think of you guys.

To anyone that isn't Christian: I am sorry if my Deck The Halls song offended you. I do not mean to offend anyone, ever, so if you don't celebrate Christmas, feel free to attack me via small rabid chinchillas.

To anyone that didn't think this chapter was funny: Sorry. I was just trying to scratch off the questions I couldn't make really long, and I do admit that some of my stuff isn't exactly very kind.

Yeah. That's about it. And the random selection thing was me pulling up my e-mail, and clicking a review. If it was for the last FQ chapter, then I made you host the mini question. In no way, shape, or form, did I use favorism.

Ha. See. I'm afraid people won't like my story. That's what always goes through my mind before I write a chapter.

Did I just defend Raoul? Wow. I must be sick.

Please review, guys. I won't be able to update for a while (I've been sick since Thursday, and I have the feeling I'll have a lot of make-up work).

And reviewer number **_200 _**gets something very, very special.

Peace,

BTR.


	19. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **This- is the key, that makes us, wind up.

I HEART GWEN!!!! Or at least her music. Defiantly her music.

It's better then Erik's songs.

Eventually, I'll write something non-parody. I have no clue what it will be (maybe fluff. Who knows), but one day I will. So there.

I can't think of anything good to say. I hope you're all waiting eagerly for Christmas (or Hanukah. Are any of you Jewish? I dunno.)

I'm hyper, because I ate a banana? What the freak is wrong with me?

I think it's funny how many of you asked if you could just keep reviewing until you hit 200. Which you guys cannot! That's cheating! Basically I'm going to try to rig it. I usually get circa 15 reviews per chapter, so I'll make sure none of you can cheat. Right now I'm at 170…so after I post this I'll be around 185….so the chapter after this one would be…200! So if any of you try and cheat during the chapter after this, you'll lose!

Oh, and if Veng or Insane is the 200th reviewer, don't worry. I'll just take the person that reviews after them.

Now, I know, here is everyone's favorite section:

Thank the reviewers, thank the world.

**Moriko Csove Doyle: **No cheating : ) Christmas ham? That's…so…funny! She's a ham!

Oh. I update fast. It's only because I have no plot to follow and can go crazy.

**Supergirrl: **Aww, thanks! The song was fun.

**Vengeance: **Would you rather be a lion or an annoying French angel? Or anything else that comes in groups of three? No ponies. Go back and sit in your corner and cry.

Eeeeek, don't say Scrooge. I am trying to recover from my _male-_jolly-bubbly-telling-everyone-they're-going-to-die Christmas Present part.

**Songstressgirl07: **I'm amazing. I know. And you want his shirt? I apparently have an extra.

**Gerikslover: **YAY FOR BLANK STARES!

**Angel of Music lover: **Awww, I'm happy I made you happy! The tutus were rather evil of me, and I apologize. And it was either Angel or Music, and I didn't think I should call you Music.

**Serey: **There has to be something wrong with them. They sing too…funny. And come on guys, the amazingly amazing prize (which actually might not be that amazing, depending on your personality) isn't worth doing the Don Juan laugh.

**Mrs. Gerard Butler: **A Girl-de-Changy in the Anti-Phans? Creepy and flattering.

**PhantomoftheBasket: **: ) I would like to apologize again for leaving you out! I'm not very smart. And I luff the song. No cheating, girls!

**LostBluePhantom: **Hosting a chapter comes with a harsh price. And nice questions! I might have to hold another mini chapter.

**Nanotech: **I don't even know how to answer all your questions. Okay. Uhh..

Poor you! I sowwy.

Hmm. Actually, given the situation, I probably wouldn't be able to actually _inflict _harsh pain on Erik. From me, at least. Mme. Giry's allowed too, but I never actually think I have….hmmmm. –ponders-. Have I ever hurt him?

**Pawfoot: **GIVE ME THAT FOX COSTUME BACK!!!!!

Stupid Cali.

**Whisper of the Winds: **I'm a pyro. I like to watch things _burn._

**Evanesce: **I'M SORRY! You...didn't review...the last chapter. I…forgot….here, I'll make it up to you . You and Basket.

**AceGray: **Thank you for loving my stories! And I won't be violent anymore. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be violent. I always thought it like cartoon violence, like Tom and Jerry. Sowwy. I'll be nice to Erik and my friends now.

TIME TO WRITE A CHAPTER!

Now, this was supposed to be phangirl-less, but two of my favorite reviewers were cruelly left out. So the next one will probably be phangirl-less.

Also, this chapter is seriously screwed up. It starts at the end of chapter one, but everyone will know what has happened in the last chapters. So…yeah. It's messed up.

**Raoul gives Christine two minutes to change before he will presumably fetch her and take her to dinner. What takes him so long to come back?**

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

As Raoul left Christine's room, Madame Giry leaned on the stairwell doorway, scowling at Erik. He slowly turned the key and pulled it out, successfully locking the girl in her room.

_Stupid perverted genius. Stupid perverted genius,_ she thought, watching him glance over at her. Then he stuck out his tongue in a very un-Phantom-y way.

As he left, she sighed and turned around, facing the stairs. Before she was going to explain to her daughter about losing the bet, she decided it would be wise to follow Raoul and make sure nothing happened to him. She walked down the steps, clanking her cane into the steps in beat with her movement.

Madame Giry had an Opera House to take care of. All the ballet girls were like her children, despite her harsh actions towards them. Everyone must be taken care of, including the phangirls.

Yes, she acted like she loathed them all to the core, but they were around the same age as the ballet brats…except the Anti-Phans. They had no place here.

She opened the door, arriving behind the curtain of the stage. There was the usual chaos, people yelling, throwing beer bottles at each other, the older ballet brats basically prostituting themselves off to random males.

The usual.

"Madame Giry, Madame Giry!" the cry was desperate, anxious, and the accent wasn't nearly fake-French enough to be one of her ballet girls.

So that meant it was one of them. A phangirl.

Mme. Giry turned, and saw it was actually _two _phangirls. Unless she was seeing double, and her doubles just happened to be wearing different clothing, were different heights, and had different color eyes.

Which she didn't doubt could happen. She felt like she was going crazy.

"What do you want, Mademoiselles?"

"She's missing! She's missing!" the one on the left, Evanesce, yelled.

"Who is missing?"

"Rose! We went to check on her, 'cause she seemed kinda whacked out-" Basket, the other girl, was cut off as Evanesce started up her sentence again.

"Because she was electrocuted a few chapters back-"

"And during the mini thing, she seemed extra out-of-it, and we were kinda worried, 'cause she's just a little kid-"

"But she wasn't in her room!" Evanesce finished up the phrase, which left Madame Giry creeped out.

Crazy ESP phangirls.

"Little Rose has a room?" Mme Giry asked blankly.

"A closet under the stairs," Basket waved it off.

"We have stairs?"

"That spiral staircase that Christine and Raoul climb up later on in the movie to the roof!" Evanesce seemed desperate. It was then she knew it.

They knew something she didn't know.

"What is it?"

"…Well…" Basket.

Madame Giry was annoyed. This wasn't nearly funny enough. Plus the fo- I mean Raoul was missing, and probably in danger and-

It hit her.

"Rose is with Raoul, isn't she?"

Both girls nodded.

"Was she stalking him?" Madame Giry asked, ticked. Behind her, a group of drunk stagehands were playing a game of Duck-Duck-Smash-The-Whiskey-Container-Over-Your-Head.

"Duuuuccckkk, duuuuucckkkk, HAHA!" _Crash!_

"No," Evanesce answered quickly. "She left a note saying she saw him wandering around, and one of the other girls asked where he went before he came back for Christine, so she got curious I guess…"

"What is the point?"

"THERE IS A TORTURE CHAMBER IN THIS STINKING OPERA HOUSE! WE HAVE TWO MISSING PEOPLE, BOTH OF WHICH THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA HATE!"

Basket's sudden outburst started the other two. But the game continued in the background.

"…duuucckkkk, CHICKEN!" _Crash!_

"Where is the torture chamber, Mme. Giry?" Evanesce asked evenly. The adult sighed and went the other way.

-----

"She….didn't…tell….us…it…was….this…hot…" Basket panted, sweat pouring off her and her friend.

"It's a….heat torture…chamber. Of course…it's…hot…" Evanesce fought to keep breathing. It was hard. Plus there were dead bodies down there.

"I'm…going…to….kill…her…" Basket stumbled.

"I….can't…believe we…had…to…..pretend to….be….frightened….in front….of….Madame Giry!" Evanesce was barely able to say the last words.

Suddenly, it became cooler. Just enough to keep them from dying. They were a small room, and in the dead center, a young child was sprawled out, about four feet under the punjab hanging from the ceiling.

Both girls were silent and resigned.

"Wow. She's actually….dead."

"Holy crap."

Suddenly, the corpse mumbled something and picked up something near her body, then lifted it over her head and opened her glowing ivy eyes.

"Stupid iPod…so many lame songs on this….can't believe the phangirls put _all _the freaking different versions of that stupid movie on it….and why the freak did they put My Chemical Romance on ther- oh look…Avril."

Both phangirls dropped their jaws.

_She's alive?_

Without warning, both dashed over and attempted strangling her.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT US OUT!! WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"

Suddenly the Hallelujah choir started playing, and AceGray floated down gracefully. She had a Santa Baby Christmas hat on her head, crooked, and held a long stick with the Horn of Plenty stuck on the end.

"No violence now, ladies. We should all keep it happy, and loving."

They stopped attempting to strangle the Authoress to stare in disbelief at the other phangirl. Then, amazingly (and probably out of fear), they dropped Rose.

"This is _our _chapter, Ace. Isn't that right, Basket?" Evanesce turned around when she heard no reply. "Basket?"

Basket was currently sitting next to Rose, with one earphone in and grinning.

"She has Fresh Prince on here!"

The iPod suddenly yelled "Then…sorta…_sha-ZAM_!" Then the laugh track sounded.

"But…that's an iPod nano. It's not a video iPod. They aren't supposed to _play _episodes of _anything._" Evanesce retorted bitterly.

"It's her phic," Basket pointed at Rose. "She can do whatever she wants."

Evanesce was quiet, and then she turned to AceGray. "Just stick around for a while. We may need your big Ghost of Christmas Present sticky-thing that makes people happy."

Evanesce noticed something different with Rose's ensemble, which had changed from it's ankle-length white dress to a shorter white….thing. It looked like a very _large _shirt. The sleeves were much too big, and it was cut down the middle all the way to her stomach (and looked like it was poorly sewn up, but not poorly in the way that it looked like something Britney Spears wears, just not sewn up straight.) and frilled. It only went down to a little above her knees.

"Uh, Rose…why are you wearing Erik's shirt?"

Well, that went over like a ton of freaking bricks.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS WAS HIS SHIRT?!" Rose yelled at Basket, who seemed just as surprised.

"YOU KEPT IT?" Basket yelled back. AceGray and Evanesce could tell that this was going to be a shouting match. The two girls began to look from one screamer to the other.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE ME THIS!"

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS HIS SHIRT!"

"NO YOU DIDN'T!"

"YES I WAS DID! YOU JUST WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME MATCHES!"

"YOU GAVE HER MATCHES!" Evanesce broke in. Giving small pyromaniacs matches wasn't very smart.

AceGray decided to sprinkle Kindness from her happy stick of the Ghost of X-mas Present onto the fighters. They were all much-too-cheerful again.

"PRAISE BE TO THE WORLD! FOR IT IS A WONDERFUL PLACE!"

Then, suddenly, a man stumbled into the room, gasping for air. Apparently it was still _very _hot to him.

"Please…end the pain," he gasped, and everyone stared.

"Hullo Mr. Persian Dude," Rose said, waving and receiving all the attention.

'Persian Dude?' AceGray mouthed to Basket, who waved it off and mouthed back 'Book.'

"The noose is right here, sir." Rose stood up and pointed above her head before moving out of the way. "There you go." She ushered all the phangirls out of the room and gave Dargola his privacy to kill himself.

"What was that about?" all three demanded. Mini Pyro shrugged.

"It's Dargola. He falls into the torture chamber in the book, then kills himself as the tortures get worse. But if he's down here, then the Leroux Raoul must have fallen in here too, and we have the other Raoul down here, so slowly the parts are combining and they are now one." She moved her fingers in the universial swoosh.

They stared.

"So…where's Raoul?"

"Kloolk and Lerik took him to another room, and at the moment they're probably killing him."

The three grabbed Rose by her arms and dragged her off to the room.

-----

20 harsh, hug-filled minutes later, all the phangirls managed to get out and save the idiot fop. They had all torn strips from Lerik's clothing (mostly shirt), and were now content with life.

But as they slunk back up, they met a very, _very _angry Erik (Gerik) and Madame Giry.

Raoul took this moment to try and sneak off before Erik went off to seduce Christine. But then he got lost. Going down the hallway.

"Girls," Erik said strictly, glaring down at them.

"You're all grounded."

Four jaws dropped.

"We're _wwhhaatt_?"

"Maria," (no one knows her stupid name), "and I have decided that this story has become too phangirl-y. For the next two chapters, it's going to be all us." Erik scanned over the scared girls.

"We already collected the other…twenty-something. They're in straight jackets and small cages. So now we're taking you four."

Erik was about to sling all four over his shoulder when he noticed something very odd.

"..Is that my shirt?"

Everyone turned back to stare at Rose, who looked down at what she was wearing again.

Now, this is one of those situations where he would actually have to take it off her back to get it.

"If you want your freak-ing shirt back that bad, then you have to get _over _it," the child snapped, crossing her arms defensively.

"Because this is now mine, and you're going to **deal **with it."

He didn't argue with her any longer, but jerked his head to Mme. Giry. She came over and shoved the child in a small sack while Erik tried to grab the squealing phangirls.

AceGray waved her stick threateningly towards Erik, while Basket shouted, "I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T VIOLENT!"

"I HAVE A PERSONAL SPACE BUBBLE!"

In the end, Erik was able to grab all three phangirls and manage to tuck all three of them under his arms, and then the two adults stalked off and threw them all into a small closet under the stairs.

"Personal…space…bubble…" AceGray grunted, scrunched up against other phangirls and ant-phans.

"Hi…guys…" grumbled Brita, and the others tried to wave while they were compressed in the tiny space.

"…So…how long will we be here?" Nanotech wondered.

"Two chapters," Songstress replied.

"Crap," Veng and Insane said at the same time.

"…Are you wearing Erik's shirt?" This is whoever is reading the story at the moment.

"Don't even."

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**A/N: **Gasp! I've locked all the phangirls in the closet for the next two chapters (until I get 200 reviews, which should take two chapters or more).

Did you enjoy? Review if you are confused. Or, actually, just review period.

Want a hint for the special prize? Here it is!: SNL.

_Sha-ZAM!_


	20. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: **Well. Christmas might have come and past by the time you've read this. Or maybe it hasn't. Maybe I'll type it fast. Ah well. Merry X-mas if it hasn't!

If this is your second message about this chapter, you're not going crazy. I deleted the old one because of a very bad typo. Sorry!

Hey guys. I've got a bunch of plot bunnies that I want to try out. They're on the profile.

I have no snide remarks, but I do have a fun-fact!

If you've seen the movie Monster House (the pain…), you'll notice that children 1-3 fall into some…pit of toys. Yeah. Well, Chubby has a near heart-attack and water guns this little monkey toy.

Said monkey toy looks oddly similar to Erik's precious monkey clapper…thing.

Reviewer time.

**Gerikslover: **Updation! And yes, SNL. Can the code be broken?

**Mrs. Gerard Butler: **Yeah. It sucked. I was tempted to just put another Author's Note, but I figured I should knock off another quessie.

**Luckii.Jinx: **Yes. Very confusing. Like Prestige. Have fun stuffed in the cupboard/closet!

**Angel of Music lover: **Technically your stuck in a closet with them, but same thing. And thank you! Sorry about the name mix-up…homework. Sorry again.

Hmm. Feeding himself, seducing an under-aged girl, _and _tanning? Tsk, tsk, Erik, you sure seem busy!

**Serey-Sass: **Hmm. I knew I was a phangirl short. Tell Serey that I think both of you have problems, and need help. Fast. : D

**FemmeLoki: **It'll kill me inside, I'm sure.

**PhantomoftheBasket: **Ha. Grounded again. And THANKS FOR THE SHIRT. Geez. Yes everyone, blame Basket! She gave me the shirt! ;3

**Lady Pendragon: **SHE LIVES! LYKE, ONG! Ha. Haven't heard from you in a while. Thought you gave up on my funny.

Sha-ZAM!

**LostBluePhantom: **I have a large personal space bubble. And yay for iPods! I'm listening to mine now!

Happy belated Birthday!!

**Supergirrl: **Deal. But also tell her Small-and-Peppy wants it back after she's done. Try not to kill the nice reviewers.

**Evanesce: **It does sound like a very fun game. And what does you mean by "may you write?"

**Moriko Csove Doyle: **Ha. I know. It takes me a solid hour to get ready in the morning. And that is his name, but I'm absolutely awful with names, and I forgot how to spell it, so I eventually gave up and just called him Dargoa. Brakes might help.

**AceGray: **The stick of happiness! Bow down to it! And no, you're not a hypocrite unless you flame me for my quirky violence, or you don't allow me to make fun of you.

**SpringDaze: **Geez Dazey, it's like, ending in…a few chapters. We have this one, the next with no phangirls, the one for the special 200 reviewer, then the final chapter. So it's ending soon. Oh, and I like the story!

**Lluna: **I've been hugged! My personal space bubble! Ah:D Just kidding. I love House. I admit to wanting to take out his eyes and put them in a shrine.

I don't know if she's actually a porn star, but apparently Kloolky thinks so, and she's more POTO obsessed then me. I hope she isn't really. I liked her. Her singing was…prettiful.

MG OWNS!

**Pawfoot: **Straight jackets and Erik's shirt. They make this phic go 'round.

**The Magic Pickle Fairy: **I actually haven't read a lot of it. I did some…skimming. A lot of…skimming. Mostly to the interesting parts (Erik's death…). But I'll try.

No phangirls! They're all rotting away in the closet!

**How does Erik know everything?**

(And other hard-to-catch tidbits of questions)

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

"_Erik!!_"

Well, that wasn't a happy voice. Then again, Madame Giry didn't really _have _a happy voice.

The soon-to-be victim, Erik, instantly sat up and pulled his mask back on, pushing the foil and the candles into his secret crevice.

"Uh, yes, Madame?"

She momentarily forgot what she was saying, noticing the foil and candles. "Where you just tanning by candlelight again?"

He 'thoughtlessly' (please not sarcasm) gripped his punjab. Mme. Giry remembered what she was going to say.

"Your rose just beeped." She shoved it into his face, and his features wrinkled up before he sneezed.

She stared at him.

"You're allergic to roses?"

"It's amazing all the things I do for my dear, dear Christine."

Meg, who was still on permanent Lair-Arrest, was going through all Erik's music, seeing if he ever wrote anything incredibly interesting for the ballet girls. She looked up.

"Why is there an antenna attached to the ribbon? That's a little pathetic, Monsieur."

Erik turned to glare at her. "Don't make me have to have you dance into the fire during Don Juan."

Meg went quiet, then went back to her searching. She began mumbling everything she found.

"Soprano, soprano, soprano, soprano."

"What were you saying, Woman-Who-Has-No-First-Name?"

The mumbling continued.

"Soprano, soprano, soprano, soprano."

Madame Giry absent-mindedly clicked her cane into the ground to the beat of her daughter's mumbling. "Your rose. It made a mechanic sound."

"…Is that all?"

"Soprano, soprano, soprano, soprano."

"'Is that all'?" Mme. Giry cried shrilly. "You have a _bomb_ attached to a flower, and all you say is 'is that all'?"

Erik chuckled. "It isn't a bomb, Taller Giry. It's a-"

"Soprano, soprano, soprano, soprano."

Cut off, the man turned to stare at the blonde female still going through all his sheets. He waited a moment before continuing.

"..It's a-"

"Soprano, soprano, soprano, soprano."

Now very miffed, he took a deep breath through his nose before trying to continue again.

"It's-"

"Soprano, soprano, soprano, soprano."

Erik's face turned a very fun shade of red. He opened his mouth to speak, but, of course…

"Soprano, soprano, soprano, soprano."

He jumped up to punjab the annoying girl, but got smacked on the head with an ivory cane. That didn't stop him.

"Shut up or leave!"

Meg stopped, looking horribly offended. She got up and stalked over to a wall, which she pressed her palm against and said in an awful male-voice imitation, "Christine."

The wall instantly opened up, complete with the golden lights and hallelujah chorus. Sitting on a plush pillow were a pair of socks. She snatched them up and skipped to the lake.

Obviously the security technology sucked.

Erik seemed to be in a state of panic. "Th-the socks!"

She smiled evilly, posing to drop them into the dark waters.

Madame Giry just stared at her daughter. "Where did she learn about a secret compartment in your wall?"

"**Well, it all started when a radioactive chipmunk ate her ballet slippers…"**

Everyone stopped and looked around, trying to find the source of the deep, booming voice. Usually it was Erik. But this time it wasn't.

Meg snapped out of the trance first, and wiggled the socks. "Tell Mama what she wants to know, or these things are taking a little bath."

This is, of course, when the giant whirlpool kicked in.

Erik was turning white. He stuttered. "It-its uh, a-a," he paused to breathe. "It's a tracker camera."

Madame Giry gaped at him. "Tracker camera?"

"I-it, uh, allows me to know what's going on. Inside my Opera House."

"So these are everywhere?"

"**Yes, they are. The infamous Phantom has hidden his trademark black-ribboned roses all over the old theatre."**

"…Okay, seriously, where's that coming?" Meg asked, still holding Christine's socks over the giant whirlpool.

"**I'm the narrator."**

"Our narrator is a little 9-year-old girl," Madame Giry grumbled sourly.

"**You locked her in a cupboard. I'm the replacement."**

She brushed it off. She didn't actually care. "So he puts them all around?"

"**Gosh, you're stupid. I already said that!"**

"I was just making sure!"

"**Riigghhttt."**

Well, as Madame Giry continued to argue with a voice she couldn't against, Erik just stared at Meg.

"…I told her about the trackers, so can I have Chrissie's socks back? Please?"

"Oh course not!"

"…And why not?"

"I don't know!" Meg gave off the empty-headed I'm-a-blonde-ballet-brat-with-_no_-brains smile, continuing to wiggle the socks over the water. But then she accidentally dropped one.

"_NOO!" _Erik shrieked, giving no hesitation before he dove into the dark, forbidden water. There was a rough sucking before he was sucked into the lake.

The Whirlpool God subsided, content on what it was sacrificed.

Meg just stood there, frozen, still facing forward and holding a single sock, her mouth formed in a little 'o' of shock. Her eyes where much bigger. Like an 'O'.

Madame Giry took no noticing of her friend being fed to homicidal water. She was still arguing with the voice.

"Why don't you haunt someone as wrinkled and old as yourself?"

"**You mean like yourself?"**

"I was thinking someone like your Mother!"

The deep, booming voice gasped. **"Don't bring my mother into this!"**

Meg took this moment to slink off, wishing to escape when Mme. Giry finally realized her bestest best buddy being taken by H2O.

But for the next three hours, she would do nothing but argue. With the voice.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**A/N: **Nooo phangirls! I did it! Ha. Review guys. Please?

_Please?_ Eleven more reviews, then we hit 200!

Psssss. -pokes TheSecretAndStrangeAngel- I some property of this story is stolen from her parody the Accent. Tehe!


	21. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: **I went to a party a while ago, so I'm extra happy.

Nothing new has happened to me. Bought a few books. Had to go to sister's college.

Nuttin new.

**Supergirrl: **You're pimpage.

**LostBluePhantom: **White iPods are better.

**Evanesce: **I need to go buy torches…some eggs. Matches.

**SpringDaze: **Not famous, not amazing. Funny I am!

**Moriko Csove Doyle: **Hmm. Hot oil might hurt.

**PhantomoftheBasket: **No phangirls. And hey, I could totally keep oaths like that! There's socks.

**FemmeLoki: **I don't think anyone's ever done that to him before.

**Serey-Sass: **You both _are _mental. But that's what's fun.

**Angel of Music lover: **Thanks. And Answer: Because she's a ditz.

**Pawfoot: **Obsession is normal for Erik.

**Halt at X: **CONGRATS ON WINNING!!!!!! And what is a question you've always wanted to know about PotO?

**Nanotech: **Oh no! Not the spoon!

**Lluna: **Poor ballet brats.

**AceGray: **I won't be cruel to you. Make fun of you, but not be cruel.

**PUNX13: **Except Holly's really old and really short. Think. Minerva.

Oh yeah guys. **Halt at X** won the 200th reviewer story!!!! Yay for her!!!!

Story time. Raoul bashing alert.

**What cruel twist of fate brought Raoul to the Opera House?**

**0o0o0o0o0**

A soaking wet man pulled himself out of the bottom of a lake, dragged himself to shore, and managed to make it all the way to his couch. All while clutching a single sock for dear life.

This was a while ago. Night had fallen since then. Let's see the changes!

There was a blonde ballet girl wrapped in chains and was suspended upside-down over a lake. The Whirlpool of Death was activated again.

The older version of the ballet brat had been kicked out a while ago, and was still arguing with The Voice.

Meg was glaring at him.

"Your whirlpool sucks."

Instantly, a Candle-Man with the drums that's hidden away in the walls of the underground lair appeared, hitting his instrument.

_Bu-dum-shhh_.

Then he vanished again.

Then suddenly, there was a cat. Erik did not know how the cat got there, but there was one. It looked cute and fluffy, so he decided to pick it up.

He was lying on his couch, with a cat on his stomach.

Erik smiled, content with what he had created. Now he picked up the To-Do list he made last night and sighed, mentally checking things off.

1: Seduce Christine.

_Check…_

2: Bake cupcakes.

_Check…_

3: Buy the new Fergie CD.

_Check. God, she's like, so hot._

4: Kill the fop.

_Drat! I knew I forgot something…_

Frustrated at the fact tying up Meg had kept him from doing away with the annoying hair-obsessed male, he threw his list down to the ground, crossing his arms and grumbling darkly. The cat hissed. Then he yelled at the girl.

"Curse you, Smaller Giry! You and Taller Giry with your abilities to unconsciously keep the fop alive with your _Giryness!!!"_

He grabbed the closest thing to him, a rolled up piece of clothing, and chucked it at the girl. It hit her in the face, and then fell into the whirlpool.

The whirlpool actually stopped sucking for a moment, then accepted the offering and vanished.

"You realize you just gave Christine's sock back to the whirlpool, right?" Meg asked innocently, still hanging over the water.

Erik's face went as white as, well, as his mask. He leapt off the couch and sprang towards the lake.

But, he never made it, because our cameras lost their attention span and went to go look at Raoul.

A random person held up a cardboard sign, reading "Many Months Before. Like, before Foppy Mc'Fopfopfopster owned the Opera House."

Then he/she scampered off, showing a man standing in front of a mirror, singing while he did his hair.

"_Well she's not ba-leeding on the ballroom fa-looooor, just for the attention, 'cause that's just ridiculous…" _he broke off, noticing the front page of a newspaper, near his vanity.

The front cover had it's title in big, bold letters.

**BUY AN OPERA HOUSE! YOU MIGHT MEET YOUR LONG-LOST CHILDHOOD SWEET-HEART!!!**

Below was a picture of the Opera House Popularie, complete with what seemed like a bajillion people to Raoul. But he saw, tucked away in the back with a the other girls in tutus, a girl that looked familiar to him. A woman whom he had adored as a child. A woman he had to see again.

"It's Meg!!" He clapped his hands together, grinning. He went and called the Opera House owners, preparing to become the patron.

What he didn't know is he would mistake Meg for Christine, then realize _"Hey, she's kinda cute, plus I get to take her from the scary ghosty man!" _so poor Meg would literally become obsolete, and not noticed for anything but a three-minute song at the beginning of the movie, and would be known as 'the girl who screams when the Phantom appears.'

But in the end, after Raoul would take Christine and Erik would vanish, at least Meg got something. She got a mask, and she got a cute cat.

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

**A/N: **Eh. Short chapter. Had to go back to school.

I'll give a cookie to whoever can figure out what Raoul's singing.

And I'll give another cookie to whoever reviews :D.


	22. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: **No own-y.

I mentioned this in one of my other stories, but I can no longer thank each and every reviewer. Very sorry.

(But apparently I owe all of you cookies, and I owe a lot more two cookies. And if you didn't know, that song Raoul was singing in the last story was Time To Dance by Panic! At The Disco.)

I feel absolutely awful that all of you are sending me these hilarious questions and I must end the story! But I promised myself a while ago that I would end it after the magic 200. So in this chapter, I shall bring back the phangirls, then the next chapter will be the last.

I would like to thank:

**gerikslover(lazy!)**

**Luckii.Jinx**

**Redjegger**

**Supergirrl**

**The Magic Pickle Fairy**

**Halt at X **(:D)

**Nanotech**

**PhantomoftheBasket**

**Moriko Csove Doyle**

**AceGray**

**Pawfoot**

**sing for me**

**Serey-Sass**

**LostBluePhantom**

**SpringDaze**

**#1Phan**

**Songstressgirl07**

**Lluna**

**Angel of Music lover**

**Googleeyes**

Time for the story!

**The Chapter That Is The Result Of The 200th Review Winner**

**0o0o0o0o0o0**

It was a bright and sunny day in Opera-Land, and one resident, Erik, was trying to enjoy his day off of phantoming.

But sadly, things for Mr. Destler were not to go as planned.

As he sat on his couch, a cat at his feet, and his new Fergie CD playing in the background as he read the paper, there was a scratching sound.

Under the ground.

While listening to the "delicious but not promiscuous" female pop singer sing being glamorous with a male rap singer who tells girls to shake their money makers, he turned his head to look at the floor near the couch.

A spoon soon poked its way out, shoveling dirt. The hole became larger, and larger, until a hand thrust out. Voices poured from the opening.

"I've hit land!"

"Thank God!"

"I'm cramped! Move your foot!"

"Is that Fergie I hear?"

For some reason, that last statement caused a more desperate fight to get out. Erik watched semi-calmly, more in a disbelieving way as twenty-three girls climbed out of the hole, all streaked in dirt. The apparent leader, Nanotech, was holding the spoon which freed them.

Raising one eyebrow, the Opera Ghost looked at Sing For Me, Googleeyes, Redjegger, and #1Phan. "My God. You've multiplied."

Before the phangirls could respond, the sound of sirens broke out. Police cars rushed into the underground lair, even though this seemed impossible.

"Everybody ice!" the lead cop called as he jumped from the car. His partner came out slowly, trying to not show everybody that all he had was a squirt gun, because he didn't matter.

"It's everybody _freeze, _you moron."

"Same thing! Now, girls, I am looking for three fugitives. Their leader goes by the codename Rose. Do you know where she is?" Lead Cop asked. The phangirls thought of a diversion while Erik spazzed.

"Ex-_cuse_ me? Did you just call me a girl?"

Cop Partner looked Erik up and down. "Yes, he did, ma'am. And you're looking rather dark. Are you obsessed with Evanescence or something?"

"Maybe she's just mourning the fact her body is shapeless," Lead Cop mumbled. "Have you tried body sculpting? Or even Jenny Craig?" But then he remembered why he came. "Which one of you is Rose?"

All of them, thinking fast, pointed at MetalMyersJason. Cop Partner immediately squirted her with a water gun, and she began dissolving while shrieking "I'M MELTING!" at the top of her lungs until she was nothing but a puddle.

Erik looked down at the gooey mess now ruining his nice boots. "Um, who was that?"

"Just the flamer."

"Oh."

Lead Cop and Cop Partner shrugged. "Guess we gotta go now, since we got rid of the fugitive."

"No you didn't!" the not-so-phantomy phantom cried, picking up the random child from the group. Both cops turned around.

"ARREST THE FUGITIVE!"

But then the other two anti-phans tried to stop him, and that didn't work too well.

"ARREST THE ACCOMPLICES!"

So next thing we know, the happy group is three girls short, due to the fact all three were being charged with attempted first-degree murder on three counts.

Erik looked at the group of girls standing in front of him, all of them with their eyes very wide.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because they could have arrested us," #1Phan said.

"You have saved our lives," Sing For Me added.

"We are eternally grateful," Redjegger finished. Soon, all the girls were waddling towards him like those little green things I can't remember the name of. But the Phantom distracted them by turning up his Fergie music.

While the girls danced, he groaned and scratched his head. "What am I going to do?"

"Well, you could do me one favor."

Erik looked down to see Halt at X staring up at him. "And what would that be?"

"You take all of us on one adventure."

"What do I get in return?"

Halt at X held up an item that somehow cued the Hallelujah choir, sort of like the socks.

The man raised an eyebrow. "When did you get her pencil?"

"While she was being taken by the police. So do we have a deal? You take me and the rest of the phangirls on one adventure, and you get the Authoress pencil. Which means this is all over, and nothing bad can happen to you anymore."

He took the deal, of course. "So where are we going?"

-------

"Should I even ask why you wanted to know what in Fop's wardrobe?" Nineteen girls and one Phantom were now all scrunched in an oddly large vent.

"I made a bet with a few people," Halt at X explained, which caused a flashback…

"_Will you give me a dollar if I find a dress in your fiancé's wardrobe?" the phangirl asked Christine. The soprano, who was painting her nails, laughed. _

"_Good luck with that. He protects his closet more then his money."_

_--_

"_If I can get into Raoul's wardrobe and find a dress, will you pay me ten dollars?" Andre and Firmin, who has just been asked that question, looked up from their paperwork._

"_Don't all men have dresses in their closets?" Andre asked, confused. Firmin ignored him. _

"_You've got a deal."_

Basically this continued with nearly everyone in the Opera House, so I'm going to go back to the magical vent of wonder, joy, and joyness.

"All we have to do is go down there, open the closet, and see if there's a dress. It's simple," Erik told them, then mumbled "This is too easy," under his breath.

"It's going to be harder then tha-at," Lluna sang. Erik gave her a confused look, so the phangirl pushed Nanotech out of the vent. She let out a scream as she was zapped by the laser beams guarding the wardrobe.

All the phangirls looked down at the place the girl used to be. "Dude, she was kinda cool," one of them said. But then, after a moment of silence, they pulled themselves together and devised a plan.

-----

After two hours, one Laser-Beam-Off-Switch covered in yogurt, and one Trix rabbit, the now eighteen phangirls and one phantom stood in front of the closet.

One of them opened it, and inside were a bunch of fur coats. Halt at X, determined to find a dress, stepped inside and began shoving through the coats.

"No, come back!" the others yelled, and flocked in after her. Erik shrugged and followed.

"This closet is huge!"

"Owww, stop stepping on my toes!"

"They're after me lucky charms!"

There was a pause as the 19 watched a little green man rush by with little children chase after him. But for some reason, they came from one side of the wall to another. Not front to back, like our group was going. Right to left.

But then there was an opening! All nineteen stumbled out, landing in something soft and white….

"We're in Narnia!" Googleeyes cried happily. AceGray picked herself and looked at a giant sign next to a lamppost.

"Actually, we're in _Yarnia._"

And it was true. Everything in this magical wardrobe land was made of yarn! The ground, the trees, the sky, the Candy Mountain way over in the corner, even the lamppost.

So, logically, the land was ruled by cats. But that is another story.

"I found a dress!" Halt at X shrieked, picking up something from near the lamppost. When everyone looked at it, they were surprised.

"Would you call that a dress?"

"It kinda looks like that thing that _resembles _a dress in the Buttons video."

"And it might be Christine's…"

"Oh well, it'll work!" Halt at X was happy. She had won the bet. "Alright Erik, we can go back no-" she was cut off when the Opera Ghost held the pencil by its ends and grinned cruelly.

"It's over!" he laughed, and, despite the screams of protest and terror from the phangirls, snapped it in half. All eighteen girls immediately vanished in an eruption of pink sparkles, and Erik was placed back in his lair, still laughing.

"It's all over!"

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**A/N: **And so it is. Well, for the phangirls at least. They are gone, the poor dears. One chapter remains. Stick with me, please! (And review!)

Sorry Nanotech. I apparently have a vendetta against you.


	23. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it.

Last chapter, buddies. Hey, you over there, stop cheering. That's rude. :D

And now…I thank absolutely everyone!

**AngelicRose8, Celixir, Vengeance, Insanity, The Magic Pickle Fairy, Charlotte, Lady Pendragon, Evanesce, PhantomoftheBasket, Gerikslover, Supergirrl, ExclamationPoint, FemmeLoki, LostBluePhantom, AnntoniaMarie, Daray5491, Songstressgirl07, moonservant, Christine Ruud, Whisper of the Winds, Anastasia Jones, staremerald, Wonder Wombat, Mrs. Gerard Butler, Icelands, Pawfoot, USDA-Certified Organic, Moriko Csove Doyle, The Fideal, Angel of Music lover, Luckii.Jinx, AceGray, SpringDaze, Lluna, Halt at X, PUNX13, redjegger, sing for me, #1Phan, Phantom Of the Opera Phan, Googleeyes, The-Phangirl-of-the-Opera, **and, last but not least, **I Dream of Erik.**

Such a long list…ah well. If I forgot you, feel free to whack me with a rough item. Time for the final question!

**What The Freak With The Ending?**

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

"_Cough, gag, choke, sputter, hairball."_

"Monsieur Raoul, could you repeat that?"

"_Cough, sputter, whe-e-e-e-e-e-ze."_

"Ah. You want to be taken inside the dismal auction place. Well, alright."

Miss Creepy Wheelchair Nun rolled the old and crumpled version of Raoul inside the Opera-Populaire-Turned-Auction-House. Inside was a man with his assistant, selling all the stuff they stole from the burned down building.

"And here is a nice wooden pistol. It has three pretty skulls attached to it. I don't know if it still works…" The auctioneer studied the prop for a second, and then accidentally fired it, shooting his assistant. The assistant died.

"Oh, um, well darn. That's the fourth one this week. And it's only Monday." He quickly scooted the body away from his auctioneer stand and chucked the pistol over his shoulder.

There was a small intermission as the police came and very slowly removed the body. All the while, Raoul was trying to flirt with whom he thought was Meg.

"_Choke, stutter, cough?_"

"What did you say to me?" Mme. Giry responded in a snappy tone. Immediately Raoul's old eyes went very wide. Real words actually came to him.

"You're still alive?"

"I'm only a few years older than you!" the old_er_ woman grumbled.

Raoul looked her up and down. "My, you're looking…blacker."

Miss Creepy Wheelchair Nun suddenly noticed her.

"Ah, hello, Madame Giry! How are you?"

"I am fine, Abigail," Madame Giry told her, impatiently waiting for the police to wrap up the body and for there to be a new assistant. This was taking much too long.

"You know, I still remember when you baby-sat my mother," Miss Creepy Wheelchair Nun, now named Abigail (because that's just such a pretty name), spoke up.

Raoul blinked a few times, wiped the drool that was forming on his chin, and sat back in his chair. Then the words actually sunk in. He turned around and looked at Abigail, and then at Mme. Giry.

"How old is she?" he whispered to M.S.W.N. She grinned a little bit.

"Madame Giry doesn't die, Monsieur," she said like everyone knew that.

Before Raoul could respond, the auctioneer got a new assistant.

"Now, see here! A nice monkey clapper thingy! We found it in the Lair of Fire Hazards."

The assistant held it up and pressed an invisible button, and the monkey began clapping and playing nice music…

"_It's a small world, after all."_

This beautiful song was met with pained screams that must surely be of joy. After a few minutes the song ended, and the screaming stopped. But then the bidding began.

First it was Raoul. Then Mme. Giry. Then Raoul. Then Mme. Giry. Then Raoul again.

You see, Raoul wanted this little contraption for a good reason. It had been on Christine's will…

_My Will- Written by Christine._

_1. Bury me with all my pretty dresses._

_2. And give me a nice pretty gravestone._

_3. Oh, and I want my Angel's little monkey thing. It was pretty too._

Madame Giry simply wanted it because it was owned by her ill-grateful friend. She heard voodoo was starting to become popular.

The bidding continued until Mme. Giry ran out of money. She was prepared to go all bitch-fitty against Raoul, but that wouldn't be fair. He was a cripple. So she just stood by while the monkey clapper was bought.

Raoul was wheeled outside, and Mme. Giry followed. As he drove off, she began to wonder if they sold fop pin cushions.

There was a very nice carriage ride, and Raoul had a few fantasies about a random stag that galloped by. But then they were in the graveyard. Abigail rolled Raoul out to his wife's grave. He noticed there was this pretty little red rose with a nice diamond ring around it on a black ribbon. Raoul wondered why in the world there was a diamond ring that big just sitting in the graveyard (you would have thought it would be taken).

Then he randomly decided he was going to turn his head and look in another direction. He really didn't know why he did that. Maybe he thought he was the Phantom's grave or something. Maybe he was just losing his mind from old age.

At this point, Raoul notices Abigail isn't there anymore. So he begins wheeling himself away when he has two warning shots fired into his head.

Liz walked over with a shotgun slung over her shoulder to the other five Merry Murderesses who were randomly hanging out around the graveyard.

"He had it comin'," she told Velma Kelly in slight defense.

"He only had himself to blame," V.K. reassured with a small shrug. Then Hunyak said something, but no one ever knows what she says. Then they left, going to look for Billy.

So it ended, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Except Raoul, who just got shot.

And Christine, who died.

And Erik, who lost Christine.

And Madame Giry, who didn't get the monkey clapper thing.

And Meg, who is nowhere to be seen.

And Fandre, who lost the Opera House.

And Carlotta, who lost her lover.

And Pianji, who died.

And Joseph, who got hanged.

So no one really had a happy ending. No, wait, scratch that. Carlotta's poodle lived happily ever after.

Don't you just love happy endings?

**0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**A/N: **I thought Meg wouldn't look exactly like her mom, so it must be Madame Giry.

Kat097 thought up Lair of Fire Hazards. I just thought it was funny.

Small Chicago references. But whatever. This is the end. The end! (Review!)


End file.
